Discovering Magic

I went to a performance of The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard at The Old Vic theatre yesterday. (That's the theatre for which Kevin Spacey is the artistic director.)

And a cute guy sat next to me.

And we talked at intermission (or, as they call it in the UK, "the interval").

And we talked after the show.

And we went out to get a drink... which turned into dinner.

And I went to a pub with him and his friend.

And then to another pub.

And he came out to a dance club with me and my friends.

And we walked around the city talking.

And we went back to his place and kept talking.

And I got home today around noon.



His name is Phil.

I want to describe him. Or the way I feel about him. But the word that keeps running through my head is "magic". He is magic. Yesterday was magic. This whole experience. Magic.



He's 28. He's from Liverpool, but went to school in Wales, and now lives in London. He's a playwright/screenwriter/director/actor.

And it feels like... I don't know. Like we match. We fit. We're right.

Phil feels it, too. It's like we've met before. Or like I understand his life-force or something.

I know this is going to sound nuts (and it probably is), but I think that he's important. He's a significant event in my life-story. He's not just one of the other random guys from the last post I wrote (or the guys that have come along since I wrote that post... because there have been more).



I feel like my life just changed.

Okay, that's probably ridiculous.

But maybe it's not.

My roommate asked me, "What are you going to do about the other men," and I said, "What other men?"

I mean, I had agreed to dates with two other guys next week, and two more had asked me out. And now I know that I'm going to say no to all of them. I don't care about the other dates. Any of them. They're meaningless now. Pointless.

So in that way, yes, I think it is going to change my life. Especially since one of the guys I won't be going on a date with lives in Florida, and had already talked about visiting me when we got back to the states. That probably won't happen now.

I had a similar realization when I met The Filmmaker... I remember realizing that The Engineer just wasn't right for me, and there was no point wasting my time with him when there were better people for me out there. I feel that way again with Phil... I don't need to waste time with Alessandro, Blake, Deron, Andrew, Nael, Luke, Nsikan, Wael, or anyone else. Because even if Phil isn't the guy I'm meant to be with in the long run, he has reminded me how important it is to me to actually care about the guys I'm test-driving (for lack of a better term).

So I'm done with my newfound wild woman ways. To quote The Real Thing, "The thing that 'free love' is free of is love."



You know what's funny? When I originally tried to get a ticket to The Real Thing, I was trying for the Saturday evening performance. But they were out of student tickets. And Phil? He had gone to the theatre on Friday to try to get a last minute seat, but it was sold out. So he figured he'd have better luck with the matinee.

That, my friends, is magic. Or angels. Or fate. Or maybe just a very fortunate coincidence. But I've said it before and I'll say it again: I believe that everything happens for a reason.

He said that when he showed up to the theatre on Saturday to try to get a ticket, I was standing in line in front of him. And he thought I was gorgeous. And then he ended up sitting next to me and was excited. He figured I probably get harassed a lot by strange men, and he didn't want to be that way, so he talked himself out of talking with me. But I initiated a conversation at the interval. And he said he spent the whole second act trying to figure out a good way to ask me out after the show.



He has social anxiety, just like me. He has an old white MacBook that is even closer to death than mine (Lady MacBook) is. He has a personal blog that he keeps private from people in his life (yes, that's right: I found a blogger).

He's easy to talk to. And he's talented (I asked to see some of his work, so he showed me a short film he wrote... and it was great). And he's got a good balance between being hot and cute. And he speaks with a really charming dialect, which is a nice bonus.



And as my roommate pointed out, this began in an unusual manner for me: Phil and I were interested in each other. I generally only go for guys who have shown interest in me first. And I have friends with the opposite bad habit: they go for guys that they're interested in, but the guys usually don't care about my friends as much as my friends care about the guys. But this time, I haven't fallen into either trap. And I think it's healthier this way.



I wish I'd met him weeks ago, as my time in England is almost up... But I guess I'm just going to have to trust that there's a reason we were brought together when we were: at a play dealing with what it is to be a writer, what it is to be an actor, and what it is to be in love.



Phil says he doesn't know how he could possibly explain what had happened to us yesterday. He says that people couldn't understand how connected we felt after such a short period of time, or maybe they just wouldn't believe it.

He joked that he's going to steal my passport to stop me from leaving. I understand the impulse. I want to spend as much time with him as possible before I leave.



I don't believe in love at first sight. I'm not in love with him. But I do have an incredible infatuation with him. And he with me.

In my playwriting class here, one of my classmates wrote a monologue about how hard it is to find love. In it, she said that trying to find the one other person on the planet who is meant to be with you out of the billions on the planet was worse than searching for a needle in the haystack; it's more like searching for a bubble in the sea.

I've crossed the sea and landed in London. Have I found my bubble?

I guess we'll see.



May you find your bubble.

~A~