Blog Day!!!

It seems like everyone else is celebrating Blog Day, so I figured I should get in on the fun!




BlogDay posting instructions:

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2008
3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st) and
5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link:
http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2008 and a link to the BlogDay web site at http://www.blogday.org


- Insight into my world -- It's written by a girl named Julia who is about to begin her freshman year of college. I'm madly in love with her blog, and I have to recommend it highly. She's a smart cookie, and her posts are journeys. The way she thinks reminds me a little of myself. Seriously, go check her out.

- Back From the Dead -- She's studying how to be a professional makeup artist for movies and stuff, and she posts the COOLEST pictures of what she's doing. I think it's fascinating. (P.S. She happens to be Jamie Lovely's sister!)

- Desert Shadows -- Amy is a 20-something from Australia. She's funny, and you can tell just from reading her "About Me" section that she's a spunky, likable person.

- The Tambourine Queen -- Chele is a professional model, but she's NOT an airhead. She's the kind of model who proves the stereotypes are wrong. It's awesome to look at her photo shoots, and also to read her stories about what's going on backstage, as well as in the rest of her life.

- Rachel Skirts -- Sadly, I never got a chance to meet this Chicago chick before my move. But this girl is ALL personality. Just check out her profile pic and you can see the sass. Always a fun read.


Enjoy those, everybody!

And share the Blog Day love!!!

~A~

One Week In

("The Pro" -- one of my non-sexual crushes -- and "Disco")

One week done.

I've already learned stuff. And I'm already pretty darn tired.

I have favorites within my classmates. Which I wish I didn't, as we're supposed to be an ensemble... But I'm human. I like all of them, but I have non-sexual crushes on like 5 of them. They're such cool people.

Don't worry, I'm not in any danger of breaking the resolutions I made about not getting involved with people from my class. There are 7 males. 1 is married, 4 are in relationships, 1 is gay, and the last one is NOT my type at all. So making them all "As Good As Gay" hasn't been as difficult as I worried it might be.

("D-Train" -- another of my non-sexual crushes)

As one of my eagle-eyed readers pointed out (way to go, bFlat), there were only 11 people in my class picture, and I said my class is 12. Well, my class WILL BE 12. One of my classmates started school here two years ago and left because of some family problems. She is coming back to the program and will be joining my class, but she already had grades for her first semester, so she won't be getting down here until November or December. So my class is temporarily one member short.

My class is filled with intelligent, interesting people. I'm grateful for that. And I like each and every one of them as an individual. I really mean that.

But man, classes with all of them are going to be a challenge.

As is to be expected with any group of creative persons, we have a lot of large personalities. We are going to butt heads a lot. And we have a couple of people in the class who often pick up the role of devil's advocate. Things get tense sometimes.

As for me? I'm doing alright. Tuesday was a good day (but the first day of school always is). Wednesday was a bad day (I felt stupid the whole day). Thursday was a very, very good day (I kicked butt at everything, despite the day lasting 12 hours and being completely exhausted at the end of it). Friday was a very bad day (although it started off quite well... just ended abysmally).

Yesterday went bad during our last class of the day when there was a major schism in our class regarding our course of study. The professor (nicest man ever) was so flustered and upset by it that he actually ended class 15 minutes early. Yeah. Bad.

I came home and discussed the entire situation with my roommates. Being able to talk it out with them reminded me how fortunate I am to be living with students who understand the program, but who are in different classes than I am. They told me that I was looking at everything from a mature perspective and handling it well. It made me feel a bit better about the whole thing.

Luckily, my day did improve from there.

My grad school program works in conjunction with an "Adopt-A-Student" donor program. Depending on the level of contribution, some students have 1 donor, and some have 8. They're the reason we don't have to pay tuition. When I was originally looking at the program, I wasn't really sure what to make of it... But after speaking with the students, I lost all reservations. Basically, your donors become like a second family for you in Florida.

I met my donors last night, and they are WONDERFUL. I have two donors, who are a married couple. They're probably around 70, they never had children, and they're "low-profile" philanthropists. They're incredibly intelligent, down to earth, funny, and caring. They wanted to know everything about what I'm learning, and were so proud to be connected to my education. They love the arts. They want to know every time I'm involved in any production down here, even if I'm on tech crew, because they want to know what I'm up to and be able to discuss it with me later. How sweet are they?

I feel so blessed to have sponsors that I really connected with. I now have one more reason to succeed here: I want to make them proud.

I have a real weekend this weekend. It's the first time I've had a real weekend since... April, I think. Before I was in TnT. I've been completely lazy all day, and it has been glorious. I've spent more time singing showtunes at my roommate than being productive.

We're having a musical theatre workshop with a big impressive Broadway man at the end of the semester, so I'm trying to pick a song to sing for that. So far, here are my front-runner options (in case anyone cares):

- "I Get a Kick out of You", Anything Goes
*- "Stranger to the Rain", Children of Eden
*- "Here I Am", Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
- "As We Stumble Along", The Drowsy Chaperone
- "Life with Harold", The Full Monty
- "Always a Bridesmaid", I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change!
- "Mama Will Provide", Once on This Island
- "Happily Ever After", Once upon a Mattress
- "Hold On", The Secret Garden
- "Unexpected Song", Song & Dance
*- "Let Me Come Home", The Wedding Singer
*- "Old Fashioned Love Story", The Wild Party (Lippa)
- "One Hundred Easy Ways", Wonderful Town

(* = leading candidates... and yes, I'm a belter)

I think my roommate might end up singing "Stars & the Moon" from Songs for a New World, which I massively love. I've heard that songs from last year included "I'm Not Afraid of Anything" (Songs from a New World), "See, I'm Smiling" (The Last 5 Years), "There's a Fine, Fine Line" (Avenue Q), and "Old Man River" (Show Boat).

I'm going to try to convince my schoolmates to go out to karaoke with me tomorrow night. Hopefully, I'll get a few bites... I just really want to go out to a bar, not drink, but still have fun. And karaoke usually hits the spot for me... We'll see.

All in all, not a bad first week. I'm still thrilled to be here. I'm a little bit terrified, but I know that everything is going to work out in the end.


May the end be even better than the beginning.

~A~

My Class

Today was the first day of classes. At the end of the day, I INSISTED upon taking a class photo. The rest of them begrudgingly obliged. Yeah, I know it was annoying... but in three years, they're going to be glad we have it.

Back Row: Wifey, D-Train, Iceman, The Pro, Big Show
Front Row: Two Shots Up, O.D., Disco (that's me!), Killer, Thrill, All-The-Way

We're cute, right?


May you indulge your friends in their frivolous desires.

~A~

Disorientation

(Me, "Disco", with my classmate, "Two Shots Up", who was trying to hide her hair with my skirt for some reason.)

I just wrote about this on my new blog, but whatever. I'm writing about it here, too. Why? Because I'm just that geeked.

So much information was thrown at me today that my head is spinning a little. I think they should call it Disorientation. It'd be more appropriate.

Today was the All-Student portion of Orientation. The head of the program is a lovely man named Greg. He said that every year, they watch 1200-1500 auditions, and that we are an "incredibly select group of people". I'd like to remind you that my class is 12 people. TWELVE. And the two classes ahead of mine? TEN people, each. 32 people in my entire program, out of like 4000 who have auditioned in the last 3 years. That's NUTS. I can't even wrap my brain around it. Dude, we're AWESOME. You have no idea how fantastic that made me feel. So... VALIDATED.

He looked at us and said, "You guys are the future of the American Theatre -- it's all in this room."

And maybe it's crazy, but I believe him.

I've been elected as one of two representatives for my class (which was really just because I expressed interest in doing it, and most people looked to the floor). Feels just like student council (I was the secretary in middle school, FYI).

I also had a really tremendous revelation...

I know why things happened the way they did with Tony n' Tina's Wedding. I KNOW why I spent all that time learning a character and never went up. I know why I was in a show where I was basically crew.

It was to prepare me for this.

I'm going to be getting understudy assignments for the mainstage, which is a professional, Equity theatre (Equity = the union for actors). There are only three (3!) understudy rehearsals for each show. You have to learn your part by memorizing the script, watching a video of the blocking, and attending as many rehearsals as you can make it to (which isn't many, since you're spending so much time in classes). You might not get to go on at all. And if you do get to go on, you might only get 20 minutes notice. And some students don't take preparation as seriously as they should because they don't think they'll have to go on, and then THEY DO.

TnT worked in a similar fashion. I showed up my first day, and was in the show the same night. I learned the role of Sister Terry by reading a script and watching performances. I never got to rehearse. And I never knew if I was going to go on or not. That was just built in to the process. Even after I knew I wasn't going to be Sister Terry, I still dyed my hair, continued to go over her blocking in my head, and studied her backstory JUST IN CASE there was a chance that I could go on. And no, I never got to be Sister Terry, but I was ready. And you know what? I learned a lot just from preparing for the role.

The 1st year class is also responsible to help with the technical side of the 2nd years' productions (they basically get their own season in their own theatre). I might be Assistant Stage Managing, running crew, costume crew, light board operator... Who knows.

Apparently, a lot of first years are completely worn out by having to go from classes to crew work. And they're not used to the lack of weekends. And they're frustrated by not being able to perform.

But I won't be! I went from my day-job to TnT several days a week. I know I can handle that schedule. I know that I can deal with doing crew instead of performing. And I haven't had a real weekend since April!

Thanks to the experiences I've had in the last few months, I'm more than ready to handle this. Heck, I'm BUILT for this! I've TRAINED for this! I am the Olympic-freakin-CHAMPION of this!

At one point, we were getting some speeches about being serious in our classwork, and I started getting nervous.

And then I wrote this in my notebook: "Angela, calm down."

Why? Because I forget that I was a good student.

I wasn't always... High school was hard for me before I was diagnosed with ADHD. But as soon as I was diagnosed and medicated? I became a straight-A student for the first time in my life. My first couple of years of college weren't easy, but that probably has to do with the fact that I changed majors about 18 times. My last three semesters, I was a Theatre major (and ONLY a theatre major, having dropped my other majors and minors). And you know what happened? I made Dean's List all three semesters.

I love theatre. I'm good at theatre. And when I'm studying something I love? It doesn't really seem like studying at all. I know that I can rock it

I'm not afraid. Bring it on, baby.


May you know that you can handle whatever life throws at you.

~A~

Bonding Time

(Me, "Disco", and my classmate, "Thrill")

I haven't even started classes yet, and I'm already having trouble with my resolutions.

12. Actually read all of the assigned reading. Don’t just skim it. Occasionally take notes.
I'm currently reading a book for class that is really hard to get through. I love to read, but reading about learning to breathe correctly? Yeah, no. Can't do it. I've fallen asleep no less than five times while reading this book. It's for my movement class, and there are chapters on things like diction, so I decided to skim those, because I don't think we'll be tested on them. I'm sorry, but there's just no way I can make it through this book otherwise.

26. Swear less.
These people curse like sailors, and it is NOT helping me right now. I think I said the f-word about 20 times yesterday alone, i.e. more than I usually swear. This is very bad.

35. Try not to make the fact that I’m a blogger public knowledge. (Even though I’ve already warned my roommate. And one of the second years found my blog in February).
Blogging is too big of a part of my life to not mention it. I think I've told my whole class. Luckily, none of them seems the least bit curious about my blog. I think it's because I never said "you're not allowed to read it." If they knew I didn't want them reading, they'd probably care more. We'll see how long this lasts.

36. Consider lying and saying I blog about something that they won’t want to read. Make it sound like it’s not a personal blog.
They know it's a personal blog. (Man, I suck at this game.)


So my goals are beginning to crumble before me. But I least I know that I HAD goals. And I can stick to most of the others, I hope.

I've been bonding with my classmates as much as possible. I've been doing my best to get to know them as people. My hope is that when things get tough in classes, we'll have each other to turn to for support.

Yesterday we had a "game night". Turns out, I'm pretty terrific at charades. I guessed "Spinal Meningitis". I acted out "Zoolander" in under 15 seconds. I acted out "smorgasboard" and someone actually got it (right as time ran out, but still). And I'm good at coming up with cruel options for the other team, like "has-been" and "spontaneous combustion" (they actually GOT spontaneous combustion, if you can believe that).

I really, genuinely like all the people in my class. They seem like great people, and they're a ton of fun. I can already see that some are going to be easier to handle down the road than others, but I expected that. And there are several that I can see myself becoming close with.

If you'll remember, I live in a condo with a 2nd-year student (Nissa) and a 3rd-year student (Heather). Both of them are awesome girls, and I feel so blessed to be living with them. It's a great situation, because I think I've hung out with more upperclassmen than most of my classmates. I know some of the drama going on between the other classes, and I love that. I feel like I'm in the know.

I'm starting a new blog that may or may not crash and burn. It's going to be just what I'm learning in classes. I wanted to put it in a separate place so that my parents, classmates, etc. can read it if they wish without me having to worry about censoring this blog. I don't anticipate having a lot of readers. And frankly, I might hate having an additional blog and give up on it in a month... But I'm going to try. I have a feeling that it'll only be interesting to people who are actually in theatre, so don't feel obligated to read it.

Angela Learns to Act

Tonight, some of the upperclassmen are throwing a barbecue to meet everyone. I have orientation with the whole school tomorrow (which totals 31 students at the moment, and is the biggest it's been in years, thanks to my "massive" 12-person class). And Tuesday I start classes. Wish me luck, kids.


May your bonds be strong enough to weather the storms.

~A~


P.S. Family members asked me to remove the post "Blue with No Green", so I did.

Grad School Resolutions

I'm a big believer in making resolutions whenever you need to, not just on January 1. This is a big change in my life, and I want to be ready to change with it. I wanted to make a list of things to keep in mind over the next semester (and the next 3 years). This is what I've come up with so far.

Resolutions for Grad School:

1. Take studying SERIOUSLY.

2. Finish homework, papers, reading assignments, etc. as quickly and efficiently as possible.

3. Do not add negativity into the world of the school.

4. Be open-minded and willing to try all exercises in class, no matter how lame they seem or how stupid I might look doing them.

5. Do not gossip behind people’s backs.

6. Try not to dance during class. (Except for movement class, because I think we’re supposed to dance there sometimes. I just don't want my professors to think of me as "the one who dances in the middle of discussions.")

7. Remember that we all made it through an arduous process to get here, and we are all clearly talented, intelligent people. They deserve to be here, and so do I.

8. Don’t let politics within the school get personal. Just because something is going on in class or in rehearsals, doesn’t mean it has to carry over into the rest of life.

9. Try to make friends outside of the program.

10. Go out and have fun at least once a month.

11. Try to stay a vegetarian until at least the first week of November (which will have been a year... I've saved plenty of animals, and I want to eat meat so badly I can't even tell you).

12. Actually read all of the assigned reading. Don’t just skim it. Occasionally take notes.

13. Budget properly. If having trouble, begin writing down all expenditures.

14. Take all available opportunities to learn new skills.

15. Work on outside projects (such as student films) if they fit into schedule.

16. Take a trip to somewhere outside of town (even if it’s just to the next closest city) at least once a semester.

17. Go to Disney World at least once.

18. Have as close to perfect attendance as is physically possible.

19. Remember how hard it is to get to grad school. Remember how great of a program this is. Be grateful every, every minute.

20. Find something to love about every class and every professor (so that I can focus on those things on the days that classes seriously blow).

21. Do not kiss anyone in the program (unless it's required by a scene or something).

22. Do not get crushed on anyone in the program.

23. Do not actively flirt with anyone in the program.

24. Do not pursue a relationship with anyone in the program.

25. Keep all classmates on the “As Good As Gay” list.

26. Swear less.

27. Replace swear words with exclamations such as “drat”, “shoot”, “freakin’”, “frak” (← it’s a Battlestar Galactica term), and the like.

28. Cut alcohol out of diet (as much as possible).

29. Try not to drink until my birthday (October 25 – If I can cut meat out of my diet for 9 months, I can certainly take out alcohol for 3).

30. Do not have alcohol more than twice in one week, regardless of occasion.

31. Try to limit caffeine intake.

32. Make sure to eat tons of peanut butter, cheese, tofu, hummus, and other protein-containing foods in order to keep energy up.

33. Don’t tell classmates about my (lack of a) sexual history. Remember that it is none of their business.

34. Don’t even THINK about doing NaNoWriMo.

35. Try not to make the fact that I’m a blogger public knowledge. (Even though I’ve already warned my roommate. And one of the second years found my blog in February).

36. Consider lying and saying I blog about something that they won’t want to read. Make it sound like it’s not a personal blog.

37. Do not discuss individuals from grad school program on my blog, in case they find it.

38. Do not mention what grad school program (or city) I’m in on my blog, so that they won’t be able to find it.

39. Be supportive of classmates, not competitive with them.

40. Avoid getting too negative about myself or my potential.

41. Use days off well, because they’re few and far between.

42. Laugh as much as possible.

43. Write down all homework assignments (because I WILL forget them if I don’t).

44. Walk or bike to school on occasion. (Will work out details on this once I figure out if it’s even safe to do this, as I’d have to cross a couple of 4-lane roads, and Florida drivers are NUTS.)

45. For understudy assignments, attend every rehearsal that fits into my schedule (there are only three actual understudy rehearsals per show, and we’re mostly expected to learn what to do by watching video tapes and whatnot… so clearly, the more actual rehearsals you can make it to, the better).

46. Work on completing my novel in my spare time (HA! Spare time! Like I'm going to have any of that!).

47. Remember to step back and take time to breathe.

48. Do whatever it takes to get closer to the goal of becoming a castable, skilled, professional actor.


ETA:

49. Loosen up.
(recommended by Eric Shonkwiler.)

50. Don't let things from OUTSIDE of class affect what's going on INSIDE of class. (The reverse of #8)



Any suggestions on what I should add?


May you resolve to be the best person you can be.

~A~

In the Beginning

(The above picture was probably the last photo taken of me in Chicago. It was taken in Ed Debevic's which is a 50's themed restaurant.)

After flying from Chicago to Atlanta, and Atlanta to Florida, I got down here on Thursday the 14th around 8:30pm. The first night I swung by my condo briefly, but quickly crashed in a hotel room with my dad, never having seen my roommate. (I have two, but one is out of town right now. The other has a house managing job at the theatre.)

Friday was car shopping day. I went to seven dealers. I actually preferred another car to the Verona I ended up with (it was a Hyundai with gorgeous interior that drove easily and was a couple hundred dollars less), but I trusted the one dealership over the other. I could tell that they put their cars through a stringent certification process, and that impressed me.

Once I realized that I’d been in town for more than 24 hours and still hadn’t seen my roommate Heather, I insisted that my dad and I drive to my condo and hang out there until she came back from house managing. When she arrived, she found my dad passed out on my bed, and me asleep in a ball on the floor. She gently woke me up, sad how cute she thought it was, and then the three of us had a lovely conversation for about an hour.

As people in my class accepted their offers, the faculty put photocopies of our headshots up in the break room so that the upperclassmen could become familiar with our names and faces and get excited about who was coming. Heather said that the other students had agreed that we had an extraordinarily attractive class. She also said that we “looked like a grad school class.” I’m not entirely certain what that means, but I think it’s a good thing. We’ve got a proper mix of people, instead of looking like we’d all be cast as similar types.

Saturday morning my dad left. I went out to brunch with my delightful roommate and two other “upperclassmen” (can you call them that? That’s what I’m calling them). It was a lot of fun. They were all friendly, nice, interesting, quirky people. And I love them.

The weekend was mostly marked by the move itself. As I said before, Greyhound was a blessing. All of my boxes arrived where they were supposed to, on time or several days early, and undamaged. 27 of my boxes and my guitar all got here by Saturday (even the things I’d sent on Thursday morning before flying here). I spent a couple of days just trying to get my room in some semblance of order.

But there was a problem going on through all of those days: I think my body hates Florida, and is rebelling against me as punishment.

WARNING: Do not read next 2 paragraphs if you are squeamish.

First of all, there’s something wrong with my gums. I’ve never had huge problems with them before, except for a bit of bleeding because I have a tendency to brush too often. But no. We’re talking seriously problems. On Friday when I woke up, they were bruised. I didn’t even know gums could be bruised, but mine were. Now they’re inflamed, bleed like crazy when I try to brush them, and hurt whenever I try to bite into anything harder than a piece of overripe cantaloupe. And to add to this mouth pain, I also have a canker sore on the tip of my tongue (I didn’t know you could get them on your tongue, but I sure have one there) which I keep accidentally biting. PAIN.

I also have inflamed lymph nodes. They were so bad on Sunday that you could actually see lumps in my neck. They hurt. They hurt even more when I turned my head or tried to swallow. I also developed a sore throat, a cough, and phlegm.
NOTE TO ANYONE WHO SKIPPED THE LAST TWO PARAGRAPHS: I had a sore throat and mouth pain.

On Sunday night I had a fever. I went to bed at 8pm. I tossed and turned all night. I finally made it to the doctor yesterday. He gave me a Z-pack and ibuprofen and sent me on my way. So far, I feel absolutely no improvement. Unfortunately, I completely forgot to ask him about the mouth pain, so I still have no explanation there.

Monday was also my first day of orientation, and my first opportunity to meet my classmates. I actually only met 10 of the 11 yesterday, as one of the girls got married last week and was still driving down (but I heard she arrived today, so hopefully I’ll see her later!). One of the girls I met won’t even be in our class for the first semester. She was in the program a couple of years ago and left after one semester for family reasons. She’s coming back now, but they’re refusing to waive her tuition for the first semester because she “already used” that money, and already has grades for the semester. She’ll be joining us in January, but she came down just to meet us. I’m glad she did. It gave me a better feel for what our class will be like as a whole.

And, oh boy, we’re going to be fun. We were talking, joking, and laughing the entire time.

We learned at orientation that it's possible (nay; likely) that we might have to be here for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, as well as Easter and during our Spring Break. Why? Because we might be understudying professional actors in the Repertory theatre. Or we might have to work the box office. Or house manage. It's all part of our graduate assistant positions. In case you doubted it before, I'd say that's a pretty great example of how my grad school is not the same as going to grad school for, say Communications. Ex #1 just graduated from grad school for Comm, and he told me "Don't worry, you'll have a lot of free time on your hands in grad school." Yeah, right! I don't even get weekends! The only day a week that I get off is Monday, because that's when the theatre is dark. The rest of the week I either have classes or I'm working.

We were supposed to go on a roadtrip today (Tuesday) through Saturday to our school’s main campus (the MFA Acting program is at a satellite location). We didn’t see the value of it initially (why tour their theatres and facilities if we’re never going to use them again?), but I was looking forward to the bonding opportunity. Being together on a bus for five hours each way? Would’ve been a great “getting to know you” experience.

We’re not going. Why? Because of a tropical-storm-turned-hurricane named Fay (which The Tattooed Mama wrote about, as she and I now live in the same town). Everyone is freaking out about Hurricane Fay, and they didn’t want us to drive in it, so they decided we’d have to stay behind and take shelter.

Yesterday happened to be the birthday of one of my classmates, so we used the night as a “Birthday Party/Hurricane Party”. It was fantastic. I got to talk to most of my classmates on a personal level as opposed to a preliminary introductory one. I know about how one adopted classmate met his birth father, and how another has spent the last two months at sea on a commercial fishing boat. I got to see one classmate’s African art collection, most of which she acquired during the year that she lived in Ghana.

One of my classmates has already begun assigning the rest of us nicknames. We have “O.D.”, “Killer”, “D-Train”, “Big Show”, and the like. My nickname? I think it’s rather appropriate. They’ve decided that I should be known as “Disco”, due to the fact that I was dancing throughout the evening. One of them thinks it should be spelled “Dis-Go”, which I don’t understand. I remember responding with, “Do I look like the kind of person who disses people and leaves? I hate you. You’re such a jerk,” and promptly left the room. Luckily, he got my joke and just laughed instead of getting offended.

I’m sad to leave nicknames like “Sunshine”, “Jitterbug”, and “Ninjela” behind, but I like the idea of having a fresh start. And as far as nicknames go, I think I could do a lot worse than Disco. It is, after all, rather appropriate.

One of the guys in my class has been down here since June. He told me that the upperclassmen girls had been referring to me as “The Hottie” and saying how beautiful they thought I was. That made me so uncomfortable, I can’t even tell you. I don’t think of myself as beautiful. I don’t think of myself as ugly, either. But I’m just… me. You know? And I’m not great at accepting compliments (I’m getting better, but that’s a hard one to take… especially when it comes second hand).

I was one of the last people at the party, despite being sick. I stayed out until 3am. A handful of them stayed later, but they were the people who were used to Mountain, Pacific, and Alaska time, so it was easier for them. Considering my illness, I probably shouldn’t have stayed out that late.

I didn’t drink. Limiting my alcohol consumption is on my list of goals for grad school. I made a lot of bad (nay; VERY GOOD) decisions while intoxicated in my last couple of weeks in Chicago, so I think I’ve gotten that whole drinking thing out of my system for awhile.

I will post my list of grad school goals at a later date, and then spend the next three years of my life slowly failing at all of them.

As I’m composing this, it’s 3pm on Tuesday, and we haven’t seen any sign of Hurricane Fay. *fingers crossed* In fact, we had stranger weather my first several days in town. Completely bi-polar rain, which I was madly in love with. It would rain for brief periods of time several times a day while the sun was still shining. Glorious. It helped to comfort me.

Speaking of comfort, thank you to everyone who responded to my last post with encouragement and advice. Some of you even offered to donate items to me, which is incredibly generous of you. The only things I need right now that I haven’t purchased yet are a yoga mat and a yoga blanket, and I think I need them by a week from today. If you have one lying around that you aren't using (I'd feel even weirder and guiltier if someone went out and bought me one or gave me one that they were using), please email me at angelaboration(at)gmail(dot)com. If no one does, then I'll order them ASAP.

My financial situation at present isn’t terrific, but it’s better than it was. I had less than $40 left in the bank. Through some creative money moving, I have enough to last me for a little while. I would be getting my first stipend check on September 12, but my social security card was lost in my move (Murphy’s law is running rampant on my life at the moment), so I’ll just get a double-wide check the last week of September. I should have enough to get by until then. I’ll be doing a lot of praying that no unexpected costs show up anytime soon, and that my gas tank stays mysteriously above empty without me having to fill it (a girl can dream).

You’ll notice that I have put additional AdSense on my page (despite the fact that it generates ZERO revenue). I had it up at the top, but that did nothing and it's ugly, so I've moved it to the bottom. I think most of the people who read this are on GoogleReader or BlogLines anyway, so I don't know why I'm bothering with ads, but whatever. Worth a shot, I guess.

I have also added a PayPal “Donate” button at the suggestions of a handful of readers (both in my comments section and in emails). It feels incredibly tacky to me, so I might take it down (especially since I'm no longer concerned about dying from starvation).

Anyway. It's been a rough start here, but I know that it's all going to work out in the end. Things have a way of balancing out. And the lost social security card, the mystery illnesses, the hurricane that may or may not show up... they're all going to be balanced by how incredible of an experience this is going to be. I can feel it.


Here’s to new beginnings!

~A~


P.S. Remember the saga of The Naughty Bartender? And how on his facebook page one girl had commented that she'd gone out to a bar with him the Sunday before, and I took it as a sign that he had been single? That same girl wrote on his wall on August 9th: "what do you mean you're single?/? when did this happen?" So, yeah. I guess that means his single status was fresher than I thought. Sadly, I didn't see him again before leaving Chicago (he wanted me to visit him at a bar one night, but I made plans with a different gentleman friend instead). But I think that's probably for the best. Even if it did make a damn fine story.

P.P.S. This is what my room in Chicago looked like while I was packing before the move.

Moving out, Moving up, & Moving on

For weeks, I brought my belongings into work and put them in a box marked “Free” (which I later renamed "Pay It Forward"). I tried to bring new things in every couple of days. People started asking me if I was giving away my possessions because I was dying. I assured them I wasn’t. I just needed to get rid of as much as I could before moving to Florida.

I pared down a lot. As much as I could. I gave away my furniture to friends and people on Craigslist (I gave my bed to a man who had been sleeping on the floor, and my table to a man who lives in a trailer with his wife and three children). I sold books, CDs, DVDs, and clothes at resale shops. I donated gads of things to the Brown Elephant (it's like a Goodwill... It's in Boys Town and the proceeds benefit AIDS research). I threw out more than ¾ of my makeup collection (I’m now down to only one small Caboodles container, and actually threw out my massive tackle box altogether).

Despite all that, my tiny little shoebox of a studio apartment somehow converted into a massive amount of stuff. I ended up shipping 30 boxes (8 the first day, 20 the second day, 2 the third day) and a guitar. And I took two massive suitcases, a purse, and a laptop bag onto the plane with me.

My mom, fortunately, was able to come to Chicago to help me pack. If she hadn’t, I don’t think my move would’ve been possible.

I saw very few people after my last night of Tony n’ Tina’s. I think three friends total in five days… something like that. I was too busy packing my life away. Luckily, between my last days at my respective jobs and my going-away party, I got the closure that I needed in order to move on.

Moving away doesn’t feel sad to me. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for so long, and I’m ecstatic that it’s finally here. I met most of the students in my program back in February, and I know they’re excited to have me. And I’m excited to finally get to be with them. Although I barely know them and have only been to this city once before, I almost feel like I’m coming home. I belong here.

Of course, I typed this from the plane. Who knows what I’ll feel like in a couple of days. Don’t worry, kids. I’ll do my best to keep you updated.

My mom says that whenever you move on to a different stage in your life, you should look at it as an adventure. Don’t be sad to close one door; look forward to what might be lying beyond the next one.

So I’m saying hello to my bigger, better, things and running gleefully towards my bright and beautiful future.


May you be excited to say hello instead of sad to say goodbye.

~A~


P.S. For your reference: if ever you are shipping things across the country, use Greyhound. Yes, the buses. It was cheaper than USPS would’ve been. And, since I had a student ID (I used my undergrad one), they let me buy a “Student Advantage” card for $22.50, and then I got HALF OFF all of my shipping. ALL. I saved HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS off of the already cheaper service. Highly recommend.

Wedding Lessons

Me as Carmella backstage.

In my last three weeks in Tony n' Tina's Wedding, I was put on the schedule for 3 performances, out of 10.

I actually worked for all 10 of them.

People got sick and I had to fill in. Or they wanted time off and asked me to trade. Or they realized they were understaffed. And, in a couple of instances, the Assistant Stage Manager found ways to sneak me onto the schedule (because he's awesome).

In one of my final weeks, Dan Mega and my friend John got to come see the show. John seemed like he didn't want to be there, but Dan played along whenever one of the bridesmaids asked him to dance. It was just nice to have a couple more people see what I've been working so hard on for these last few months. I may not have played a major role, but it has been a major part of my life, and I like being able to share that with people I know.

I got to develop Farina further. And jinkies, she got tips! She got money every time she danced on the bar. Men LOVED her! I even got a couple of proposals as Farina.

I got to give Carmella a proper send off, playing her twice in my last week. It's really neat how much she grew as a character in those three months.

One night, Hot Cocoa even got propositioned by one of the groomsmen (Dominic -- generally he proposes to his girlfriend Donna, but she turned him down. He tried to end up with Sister Terry, but she walked out on him, too. So he turned to Hot Cocoa for some lovin'). I was Hot Cocoa in my final performance, and I think I had some of the best improv that I've had during the preshow. It was a lovely way to leave.

My good friend Dan (who had played the Black Staff character Vito, the boyfriend/ex of Hot Cocoa) finally got to go up as Dominic (the dumb groomsman) for my last couple of weeks. I was thrilled for him. I mean, it was bittersweet for me to watch, as he was getting to do what I'd wanted so badly to get a shot at... but still, I was happy.

I lived vicariously through him and Mel, who started playing Donna (Dominic's girlfriend, the attention whore bridesmaid) several weeks ago. If you'll remember, the three of us have been together since before we were hired. Watching them on their journeys has made mine feel a little more complete.

Me (as Farina) flirting with Mel (as Black Staff Sophie) in the women's dressing room.

I know that my situation was created out of circumstance. I know that if I hadn't put my notice in, I'd be playing Sister Terry right now. I know that. But it doesn't always make it easier to take.

Before you go up as a character, you have to watch roughly three performances (which I did). You have to write 9 pages worth of answers to various questions (which I did). And, lastly, you have to have a meeting with the director to talk about the ins and outs of the character to make sure that you have everything locked up, from blocking, to backstory, to motivation (which I did not... it usually happens the day you go up).

When Dan had his meeting, the director asked him how long he'd been on Black Staff. Dan said three months, and the director said, "Really? Wow! You guys really put in your time, didn't you?" He clearly had no idea that we'd been there that long. The director then said that Dan had been doing a great job as Black Staff, "And so has that girl who started with you. What's her name? Amanda?"

Yeah, that's right. He STILL doesn't know my name. But at least he knows I was working hard. That makes it a little less painful.

Later in the meeting, the director told Dan that the next character he'll be playing will be Tony, the groom. And then he said, "And if that girl who started with you were staying, she would've been Tina next."

*tear*

If only...

Someone told me a long time ago that when someone is in consideration for Tony or Tina, they have to stay on Black Staff longer so that they have time to really, fully absorb the show (those characters have more lines and set blocking than any of the others). So I guess that explains why Dan and I were stuck on Black Staff for three frickin' months. Oh well.

For the record, I think I would've made a great Tina. And it would've been SO MUCH FUN playing Tina against Dan! He and I have always had fun together in Black Staff. Heck, we hit it off the first time we met. He's one of my favorite people, and I know we would've made a great on-stage couple.

Dan and me... Wouldn't we have made a great Tony & Tina?

In the last three weeks, a total of 8 people (EIGHT!!!) have put in their notices at TnT. That number, for the record, includes the current Tina. Which means if I were staying, I'd most likely go up as Tina by the beginning of September.

It also means that the next round of people who audition will probably go up as characters in a matter of 2-3 weeks after being hired, simply because the show is going to be short-staffed.

Both of those things were painful to know.

I'm a big believer in the idea that "everything happens for a reason" (note the top of my sidebar). And I've been trying to come up with a reason for this. Why didn't I get to be a character? Why am I leaving RIGHT BEFORE I could've been Terry, and within a month of being Tina? Why can't I put a real character on my résumé?

Here are the reasons I've come up with thus far:

- Maybe I'm supposed to learn that hard work doesn't always pay off, especially in this business. Putting in your time doesn't mean you'll be recognized. The theatre is a cruel mistress.

- Maybe I have to learn that I need to do this for myself. I can't go into any theatre experience looking for validation from others. I can't expect the director to tell me I'm doing a great job. I can't expect the audience to be eating out of my hand. When I give 100%, I have to know that at least one person is satisfied, and that person has to be me.

- If I got into Tina, I might just stay here. I might end up feeling like I couldn't leave the security of this show. I might not move on to bigger, better things, and miss out on opportunities as a result. Maybe I'd even turn into a "lifer".

- Maybe this was to keep me humble. The character of Tina is a diva, and at least one of the people I've seen play her turned into one as a result. I have now worked for three months doing a job that felt more like labor than acting. I was, in many ways, a member of a costumed, choreographed stage crew. Playing the people on the bottom of the totem pole who get yelled at during the show AND after it? You can't possibly be a diva.

- Maybe it was to help me learn that being a part of the show has to be about teamwork and looking at the production as a whole. When you're Black Staff, you're never saying, "Look at me!"; you say, "Look at over there! Look at them! Look at that!" You have to realize that your role is small, and that there are more important and more interesting things for the audience to be paying attention to than you. That doesn't mean that you should slack off or give up. What it means is that you have to know how to give up focus. You have to know what your role is, and how to make the experience better for the audience. You can't be selfish and look for praise for yourself, because you're doing the production a disservice if you do.

- Maybe putting "Tony n' Tina's Wedding" on my résumé would be detrimental to my career, as my coworker once suggested. Maybe it's better to just leave it off entirely as opposed to proudly displaying Sister Terry. It's less upsetting to erase "Hot Cocoa" from my career history than it would've been with a real character.


So I guess there were reasons. Or maybe I'm just lying to myself and there is no good reason. I am, after all, rather adroit at convincing myself of things.

After the show, I went out to the bar with the cast one last time. I brought along my beloved game "Apples to Apples", and said whoever won would get to keep it. But I won the first game... So then I stayed out of the second game and just proceeded to get intoxi-tipsy. I got to see a couple of the other actors in the cast do their impressions of me (which all involved dancing and were pretty hilarious). I said goodbye to all my favorite people *waves to Carol*. It's weird to think that I may never see them again.

Me and my costumer buddy Carol.

Before the show, the four of us who were leaving last night were asked if we wanted to make little speeches. I didn't speak long, because I haven't been there long. I said that I'd never come into a running production before, and I had been worried that I'd feel like an outsider. The cast welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like part of their family. I'm grateful for that, and have enjoyed the last few months. Even though I wasn't a character, I know I gained a lot from it, not the least of which is a new circle of friends.


May you understand that things happen for a reason, and may you learn lessons from everything that happens.

~A~


P.S. Dan has decided that he is going to prevent me from going to the Sunshine State using "force... or through sexual temptation... whatever does the trick." Haha.


ETA:


Dan and me messing around during pre-show as Vito & Hot Cocoa

A Wild, Wild Party

I've had a post window open ever since I walked in the door a few hours ago, but I haven't been able to figure out how to write about everything that happened last night.

Last night was the karaoke going-away party I threw for myself. And it rocked. Or, at least, from what I remember... I may have had a lot to drink.

Luckily I had the foresight to bring a notebook with me last night and write down names of people who came so that I wouldn't forget in case I was insanely drunk... Which is good, because otherwise I wouldn't know that 35 people came to the bar to say goodbye to me during the course of the night (that's assuming I didn't forget anyone). Coworkers, Tony n' Tina's folk, NaNoWriMo buddies, bloggers, college friends, an ex-boyfriend (Ex #2, who is the one who inspired me to start this blog), a former roommate, and even a high school friend. It was pretty epic.

I felt so popular.

The funny thing is, the people who were my best friends in the city last spring were not in attendance at all. None of them. And you know what? It didn't matter. I've made so many new friends since then that I didn't even notice until I was reviewing my "who came" list just now. Weird.

Other notes on my list:

- My friends Jim and Mike both said "You're special" to me at the exact same moment. Clearly, that means it's true.

- My first drink was something the bartender made up called a "G-Spot". It tasted like it was made with pixie sticks. Loved it.

- My second drink was made by the other bartender. He said it was an alcoholic version of a kiddie cocktail. He called it a "Drew Barrymore" (ha! I get it!). Delicious.

- "Lisa bought me something awesome". (No idea what that was. In fact, no idea how many drinks I had total, or what any of them were.)

There were other notes in my book that are in other people's handwriting, and I have no idea who wrote them. But oh, am I glad they did.

- "Danced on the bar -- to "Baby Got Back" "

- "Spoke with EVERYONE in the bar. And liked it."

- "Danced with half the people in the bar (and John the bartender)"

- "performed the hell out of the Black Eyed Peas - great job!"

- "Ditto - Jim"

- "Despite what some people said, never ran out of energy"


I clearly have awesome friends.

I remember that I sang "Ignition" by R. Kelly (which was way lower than I thought it should be), "Where Is the Love?" by The Black Eyed Peas (pretty drunk at that point, so it was probably pretty funny), and "The Remedy" by Jason Mraz (a random girl at the bar actually took my camera from me and took a video of that one, so I have PROOF that it was a trainwreck).

(Shoot... Tried to upload video, but there's an error. Oh well.)

A few people gave me going away presents, which I wasn't expecting. Jenn gave me a great picture book that alphabetically lists interesting things about Chicago so that I won't forget it. My former boss gave me a Coach locket keychain that has a ladybug on it (a wink to the fact that she calls me "Jitterbug"). My friend Jim burned me a DVD of some anime that he likes, and also a CD of an unfinished song he's writing called "Farewell to an Angel" (awww!!! How adorable is he?).

What else do I remember... Let's see...

I know my former coworker sang "Sweet Home Alabama". Pete and Joy sang "Paradise by the Dashboard Light". Pete rapped something, and some other random guy grabbed a mic and rapped with him. My friend Mike sang "One Week". I danced on the bar multiple times. I think I danced on a chair, too. I found out that Ex #2 is still dating the girl he started dating directly after he dumped me (good for him!). I remember Dan Mega doing origami with bar flyers (he's rather adept at making hats, for the record).

That's pretty much all I can think of right now without anyone helping to jog my memory

Maybe the reason that I don't remember much of the night is because I'm so distracted by what happened after it...

I made out with someone in the bar. No, not the Sicilian bartender (he couldn't make it). A very hot guy whom I know, but not all that well. And I went home with him.

It was great, for the record. Unexpected. Shocking, in fact. And fun. I'm still processing everything that happened. (Don't jump too far in your assumptions; I still have a V-Card.)

Forgive me for not writing more about this one, but trust me when I say I have good reasons.

I'm not sure if I'll be seeing the bartender tonight or not. Haven't heard from him. I'll let you know if anything happens on that front.


May you find your wild side.

~A~


P.S. I'm currently the Featured Blogger on 20 Something Bloggers!!! HOLY CATS!!! Thank you to everyone who nominated me!

Closing the Bar

It's after 5:30 in the morning. The sky is light and the sun is beginning to rise in Chicago. I just walked into my apartment, am mildly intoxicated, and spent a second night with the bartender.

I have a matinee tomorrow. Tomorrow night is my going-away party. I haven't finished writing about the events of last weekend. So why the hell am I still blogging?

I don't know. But I'm fairly certain that I promised Nico that I'd drunk blog again. And I like keeping promises. So here goes.

I went to a coffee shop tonight to try to attend one last NaNoWriMo Write-In before moving. Sadly, I was the only one in attendance. And around 7:00pm, right as the barista handed me my drink (some sort of tea with ice and milk that the bartender recommended, and it was delicious), my phone rang.

It was Nick, the bartender. He said that he was working at a bar, and that it was boring (4pm to 4am on a Tuesday, and he was the only bartender there). He wanted me to come visit him. He also said that he will be in another state next week, and he had hoped to see me again before I moved.

I ostensibly freaked out and asked for advice (check my twitter page if you don't believe me).

************************************************

(See that line? That would be when I fell asleep. Whoops. FAIL! I'll continue where I left off.)

I hemmed and hawed over the decision of whether to go or not. If I went, knowing what I now knew, would that make me guilty in all of this? No, I would only feel weird if we made out or something, and he would be working until 4:00am... And there was no WAY I was going to stay until 4:00am... So it would just be like a goodbye between friends. I'd show up, he'd be working, I'd be there for thirty minutes, get bored, and leave. Completely G-rated. Harmless.

I went home and changed out of the short halter-dress that I'd been wearing all day. I wanted something less... sexy? Less easy access? Less "look at my body"? Something like that. I put on jeans and a brown shirt. Casual. Cute. Not trying too hard. (Men, take note: women spend a lot of time freaking out about what to wear. I'd say it's a universal truth.)

So I eventually went. I got there right around 10:00pm. Again, my intention was to stay for thirty minutes. The bar was mostly empty when I walked in. There were four people sitting at the counter, the shift manager, and Nick. Because it was a Tuesday, Nick was the only bartender there the whole night.

I wished I had brought my camera. He looked really hot behind the bar. But I had only brought what I could fit in the pockets of my jeans.

Nick introduced me to Tony, the shift manager, knowing that I'd need someone to talk to while he was working. Within the first fifteen minutes of talking to Tony, he complimented my eyes, said I smelled great, and called me beautiful.

(Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know how I got this much juice, but I'm overflowing with it right now. Angela got her groove back. *snap, snap*)

Nick started looking at a menu and said he was ordering himself some food at the bar. He asked if I was hungry. I said I was, but not to worry about getting me anything. After all, I was planning to leave soon. But after some discussion, he somehow changed my mind, and I put in an order. That, my friends, was unplanned decision #1.

At one point a great song started playing, and, as I am wont to do, I began dancing. A regular (an old man who wastes his pension check at the bar) started dancing with me. Somehow he managed to turn out his pockets and drop everything he was carrying in the process (which seemed to be a bunch of meaningless papers and scraps of cardboard... no idea why). He then insisted on buying me a drink.

At first, I said no, as Nick had been giving me free cherry cokes since I'd walked in the door (by the way, it is SO NICE to know a bartender... that man comped me on pretty much everything). But the old man insisted.

I'm pretty sure that's the first time a stranger has ever bought me anything in a bar. (Yeah, juice!) I mean, a random guy who worked at a clothing store gave me his employee discount once because he thought I was cute, but this is different somehow. A drink from a stranger? That's the kind of stuff that happens in movies. It was awesome.

So since old man was buying, I decided to switch to something alcoholic. That was unplanned decision #2. Because once I go into real drinks, I don't generally go back to my cherry cokes (no matter how fun it is attempting to tie the cherry stems into knots with my tongue...).

The food came, and it was actually pretty good. Nick insisted on paying for mine, which was unexpected, but nice.

At one point, Tony went out to smoke (yay for the Chicago indoor smoking ban! I can leave bars without smelling like an ashtray!), and Nick took his place right next to me (the bar was still empty, so it didn't matter). And I asked one of the questions that I'd been dying to ask...

Angela: So, exactly how Sicilian are you?
Nick: I don't understand the question.
Angela: You told me you were Sicilian.
Nick: I am. One hundred percent.
Angela: Yeah, right.
Nick: I'm serious!
Angela: So why did Lucas tell me you were Puerto Rican?
Nick: Lucas? Who is Lucas?
Angela: From the kitchen staff.
Nick: Oh God, no. That guy? He's lying to you.
Angela: He called you Boricua.
Nick: He likes to mess with me. Why would you believe him?
Angela: Well, you are fluent in Spanish...
Nick: It happens.

With that, he hopped back behind the bar to serve someone.

When Tony came back from his smoke, I decided to fact check (because clearly, I am Perry Mason).

Angela: Hey, what nationality is Nick?
Tony: He's Italian.
Angela: Seriously?
Tony: Yeah. Sicilian, I think. Why?
Angela: Someone told me he was Puerto Rican.
Tony: No, he's not. But he, um... His... His babies' mother. She is. Puerto Rican. I think.

Tony then looked at me awkwardly as though he'd let some sort of secret slide. I just nodded, not at all jarred by the mention of Nick having a baby mama. I didn't really feel the need to ask any more about her past that. Confirmation that she existed was enough for me.

Tony then started complimenting my "big brown eyes", and we had a whole discussion on astrology. Tony was the first person who has EVER in my ENTIRE LIFE been able to guess that I'm on the Libra/Scorpio cusp. Mind you, I did tell him I was on a cusp, but he nailed it on his first try. Something about me having sex appeal, but not being as overtly sexual as an Aries led him to think I was a Scorpio? I don't know. I generally don't believe in that stuff, but there are definitely some things about me that my sign hits perfectly.

Not long after that, a group of males came into the bar, and Nick was rushing around getting their drinks (many of which appeared to be water... who goes to a bar and orders water? Even I'M not that lame. I at least get a sodapop). I started playing with my cell phone, when one of them said, "So are you actually waiting for someone, or are you just faking it?" I responded by pointing at Nick, but the guy was persistent. He kept trying to start up a conversation with me. He smelled like some kind of smoke (pot? I'm not sure what pot smells like, but I think it may have been pot), and was acting high.

Nick gestured for me to move to the other end of the counter, so I did. Once there, he started in on a whole diatribe about how he thought the guy was being rude to me, and that he wanted to get me away from him. He then said something about not wanting to get in a fight with them because they were paying customers (well, some of them), but he felt like he needed to get me out of the situation. He then said it had nothing to do with jealousy, and that he would've been watching out for any girl around guys like that, even if he didn't know her.

(I don't know why I included that story, but I felt the need to.)

The night wore on. Nick kept putting drinks in front of me, and I kept drinking them. I kept insisting that I was about to go home. And I believed it every time I said it. But I just stayed...

Nick was too busy to talk at most points. I spent a decent amount of time watching Family Guy with the subtitles on and trying to guess what the lines were going to be before they were posted on the screen (note: I'm a HUGE dork). But strangely, I wasn't all that annoyed by it. Every so often, he'd look at me from across the bar, smile, and wink. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but it made me feel a little giggly whenever he did it. Warm and fuzzy on the inside. That's part of the reason I didn't leave: I wanted to hang around to see if he'd wink at me again.

At one point, a chick said she recognized me from the bar where she works (which is coincidentally the site of my going-away party tonight, which I hope you can attend). She bought me a shot. I don't know what the hell Nick made me, but it had the consistency of a half-melted sno-cone and was delicious.

I started talking to a guy who was apparently a cop at one point. He bought me a shot. (Are you keeping track? That's THREE strangers who bought me drinks... I was on FIRE last night.) And then he and I were playing games on this video-poker machine that were NOT card games. Like "spot the differences between the pictures" and "find the hidden words" and whatnot. Considering the fact that I was not sober, I did pretty well.

The manager came into the bar as it was closing. He said he remembered me from last week, although I didn't remember him. He then told me I had the cutest nose he'd ever seen. I don't think my nose has ever been complimented before. I wasn't entirely sure how to handle that one...

Next thing I knew, the only people left in the bar were Nick, Tony, the manager, and I. I remember yelling across the counter, "Nick! Why the hell am I still here?"

Tony kept saying how cool of a girl I am. And that bartenders have all the luck. When he said, "It's sad that you're leaving so soon," I responded with, "I think the fact that I'm leaving is half my appeal." Nick turned to me and smiled flirtatiously.

It's weird to see a bar after it's closed and all the lights are on. It starts to look like any other workplace. More like a room than a bar. So insubstantial. It reminded me of when I worked at a customer service desk at a mall. Getting there before anyone else, or leaving after them, it gains a whole new atmosphere. Like a big empty fortress. And not really a fun or interesting place at all. Just a place where people work.

I stayed until they finished closing up (which was close to 4:45am, if I remember correctly).

Nick drove me home. We talked briefly. I gave him a head rub. Somehow we ended up in the backseat making out (something I've never actually done before... probably because I didn't have my first kiss until college), but my memory is fuzzy on the "why". He tried his darnedest to be invited up to my apartment (because of how awkward the car was), but I solidly refused. He asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment, but I said no because of the matinee (and because he said he had to get up at 7:30am anyway...). But he said he's going to try to rearrange his schedule on Thursday so we can see each other again.

Niiiiice. ;)

What? I'm 23. I'm leaving. I'm having fun. Don't judge me.


May you have reasons to keep hanging around.

~A~


P.S. I wanted to make the title a "Starry Night" pun using "Bar-y Night" instead, but it looked weird. And "Barry Night" made it look like I was dating someone named Barry... Yeah. Oh well.

Brillante Weblog!

I have to thank the lovely, wonderful, and talented Rachel for this fantastic award! Isn't it splendid?

I would like to pass this award along to Joy @ Big Time Fancy, because she's been keeping me laughing and entertained lately. Go check her out!


~A~

The Last Day

(NOTE: I'm posting this on the heels of a more interesting post, so don't forget to read that one).

I showed up to my last day of work an hour late, having been up (blogging this) until an ungodly hour of the morning. It actually seemed to be okay... I'd already used all my vacation time, so they might take money out of my final paycheck, but I don't mind.

I was, shall we say, distracted. And no, it wasn't because I was hungover or tired. Heck, it wasn't really even because it was my last day. I was distracted because I kept drifting off into daydream territory trying to relive and piece together the night before. Have you ever had something hot happen to you that you just can't shake out of your brain for a couple of days? That's what I was experiencing.

Some of my coworkers clearly cared more than others about my impending absence. The terrific fellows I've been lunching with for the last couple of months have let me know that they'll miss me. My break buddy told me he doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to last at the job without me around to keep things interesting. My buddy Ben (the pudding guy) who works on another floor came to visit my desk and bought me a Cherry Coke. A couple of other coworkers didn't even say the word "goodbye" to me at any point during the day. Oh well. I guess you can't be friends with everyone.

I didn't have a hangover when I got to work, but somehow I ended up with one as sort of a delayed reaction around noon. That was unpleasant.

I had emailed all the people I knew at work the day before to tell them I'd be going to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch at 1:00pm, and they were welcome to tag along if they were available. It ended up being me, my boss, and a handful of people from my department. The service was incredibly slow, and we ended up being out almost 40-minutes past our lunch break, but my boss said not to worry about it since it was my last day.

I guess I got my going-away party after all.

Near the end of the day, my coworkers surprised me at my desk with a bouquet of pink and orange roses, a card, and a massive chocolate cupcake from the Hershey's store (which I ate in two sittings and was DELICIOUS). I didn't read the card because I didn't want to get emotional (or worse, NOT get emotional and have them all be disappointed that I wasn't moved by the long, sentimental messages that they'd written).


(me with the coworker who brought me flowers last Tuesday)

Clearing out my desk was the strangest part of the day. All the little meaningless things that I've kept to make my desk more interesting seemed so inconsequential. Even the things that I decided to take with me probably won't make it to Florida. I need to minimize. I don't need to bring a solicitous card that talks to you about insurance when you open it... but damn, it was funny for all those months at work.

It was strange not having work today. It was a Monday, and I was home, not having to use vacation or call in sick. It wasn't a holiday. I had no one to answer to.

I'm not technically unemployed yet, as I still have a few possible performances of Tony n' Tina's Wedding... But I might as well be. (That job, while hard work, doesn't feel like a job.)

I've been at my job since December 2006. I can't tell you how bizarre it is to not work there anymore. I don't think it has fully hit me yet. I'll let you know when it does...


May you find closure in saying goodbyes.

~A~

The Naughty Bartender

I'm barely employed at the moment (for like 2 weeks... yay for a break!), so you'd think I'd be a more frequent blogger. But no. If anything, I feel lazier than normal without my scheduled hustle. I have several things to write about, but I'm going to break them up into several posts (which I intend to shoot out as soon as I finish them. Two posts in one day? It might happen... *gasp!*).

I'm glad so many of you enjoyed that last post of mine... I slept through my alarm clock and ended up at work an hour late (but it was my last day, so I don't think anyone cared). If I had gotten up at the normal time and not had to rush to work, I'm sure I would've taken it down before I left. Instead, I remembered that I had written it around 10:00am. I went to take it down, but saw how many amused comments there were and decided against it. Nights like that come few and far between in my world. It's not a bad thing to have a record of impulsive fun. When I'm dying in grad school, I'll probably look back on it fondly.

Later in the day, I got a facebook notification that the bartender had accepted my friend request from the night (morning?) before.



Yes, that photo is him. I feel weird about posting one of his face, as I didn't ask permission or anything (besides, there are only a handful of pictures of him on there, and most contain other people). But that's just so there's proof that I didn't make him up or anything.

I learned a lot of jarring information in a brief period of time. Let me walk you through it in the order that I saw things, along with italicized bit of inner-monologue...

1. Directly after accepting my friend request (we're talking within two minutes, according to his feed), his relationship status became "It's Complicated".

(Wait, what? What was it before that? Was it single before and now suddenly it's Complicated? That had better not be about me. But oh God, if it's NOT about me, then was he cheating on someone with me? Am I the "other woman"? It does NOT say "open relationship", so the odds that she would be okay with this are not good... Wait, maybe SHE broke up with HIM, because it doesn't say it's complicated WITH someone, and that's how facebook handles it when the other person initiates the break up... But what are the odds that it would happen within two minutes of becoming my friend, hours after making out with me?)

2. I notice his status says "is moving."

(Oh my God! He was totally living with his girlfriend, and then he probably came home at like 4:00am and he told her he made out with some random chick and she threw him out! OH MY GOD! I'M A HOMEWRECKER!)

3. I try to look at his past statuses to see if I can find proof that he was already in the process of moving, or to see if he had been in a relationship with someone before. I discover that he hadn't had any activity in over a week before I requested him as a friend.

(Wait, didn't we have a conversation last night about our most recent break-ups? We totally did! I don't remember most of it, but I know he was talking about an ex. Which means he just got out of a relationship. Or he was lying to me because I told him that whole story about how anti-cheating I am, and that's why I wouldn't get with the guys who had been hitting on me... because they all had girlfriends. So he lied to me and said he'd broken up with his girlfriend! HOLY CATS! I AM THE OTHER WOMAN! But is that my fault? I mean, if he lied to me, how could I have known? But I SHOULD have known! I'm just so gullible! No, not gullible... I'm TRUSTING! And he betrayed my trust. HOW DARE HE!)

4. I go back to his main page. Less than five minutes have passed since I first looked at it. His relationship status has now changed to "Single".

(Wait, maybe they broke up a while ago, and he just hadn't changed his relationship status. After all, he's not on Facebook very often. He hadn't been on at all for over a week... That's not so bad. No problem... I wonder if anyone wrote encouragement on his wall regarding a break up...)

5. Only 4 posts on his wall, total. One was from the night before from a female who thanked him for going out on Sunday (I was reading this on a Friday, for reference). The others were months before.

(No mention of a break up, but clearly he's been hanging out with women at bars... so he's probably single... Right?)

6. The wall post directly before that? From April 28th. It says, and I quote, "Your daughters are so adorable!".

(OH MY GOD! HE HAS DAUGHTERS! OH MY GOD! Daughters with an 's', meaning PLURAL! He probably just broke up with his baby mama! OH MY GOD, WHAT IF HE WAS MARRIED? Calm down, Angela. Maybe you misread it. Maybe it's an inside joke... Nope. Definitely not.)

7. Look at his photo albums for evidence of daughters. Find pictures with two ADORABLE little girls. He refers to them as "My girls". There is also a picture of a woman who looks like she could definitely be their mother.

(I'm a horrible person. I'm going to Hell. This man has two children and a baby mama. Wait, no... HE'S a horrible person! Unless he's single. The pictures have clearly been there for awhile... I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAS KIDS AND DIDN'T MENTION THAT! But then, I know EXACTLY why he didn't mention that. It would be a stupid thing to bring up... Must show female coworker and ask for advice.)

8. Coworker asks to see picture of him. I find a couple and realize just how Hispanic he looks.

(Oh man, he's the biggest liar ever! He was going off about how he was 100% Sicilian, and how his grandmother was the youngest of 11 children and was the first one born in America. And he told me the story of how his best friend's mother spoke Spanglish, and that's how he started learning Spanish... But he totally looks Hispanic in these pictures! How did I not notice that last night? Oh, wait... I DID notice that last night! And I asked him if he was Mexican or Puerto Rican or something, and he said he was Sicilian, and I said I didn't believe him because he was fluent in Spanish... He is SUCH A LIAR! And I am SO GULLIBLE! Oh my God... What ELSE did he lie about?)

9. Check his birthdate. His birthday is in December, and he's 30. Just like he said.

(That doesn't prove anything. He's still not an honest person... He's... still... really hot. Damn.)

I do a lot more freaking out.

The coworker that I showed everything to started coming up with conspiracy theories based on her experiences with dating players in the past. She thinks he told me he was Sicilian so that if I talked to him around any other girls that he had hooked up with, our stories wouldn't match and we wouldn't realize we were talking about the same guy. She also said to stay away from him so that I don't have to deal with any baby mama drama.

(Have you seen the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin where Jay starts warning Andy that Trish's baby-daddy might be in prison and have boys on the outside who were going to hunt him down? It felt like that kind of conversation. Pretty funny, in retrospect.)

Then begins the second part of the drama...

At some point, I guess I sent a text to my TnT buddy Dan saying that I had experienced a PG-13 night. To be honest, I'm not really sure when (or why) I did that... Dan then tried to get me to tell him who the guy was, via text. I wouldn't. Dan texted, "then at least tell me who went to the bar," clearly assuming that it had been someone from TnT. I wrote back that I never made it out to the bar. I guess I thought that'd be the end of the story.

So imagine my surprise when I walked into the dressing room half an hour early, and one of the actresses said, "so I heard you made out with Nick last night." Um, WHAT? Color me shocked.

As it turned out... Dan had arrived at the theatre early. He asked the handful of people who were there if they knew where I'd gone the night before after the show. Carol, the costume mistress, told him that she thought I had gone to the bar. The others said that no, I hadn't. Carol said, "well I left her with Nick and the kitchen staff... And Nick said he'd take her to the bar." Dan then proceeded to tell them what he'd heard from me, and the rumor was born.

And my freak out reaction to said rumor? Well, that confirmed it.

Fantastic. So now? I'm pretty sure that everyone in TnT knows.

One of the girls actually told me how jealous she was, saying that she thought he was hot. She then said that the reason she hadn't gone after him was because she thought he was gay, and was glad to know that he's not.

Happy to help?

I think that at least one of the guys in the cast is actually bitter about the whole thing... Jealous, I think. Oh well. Sorry buddy. It's not like I planned it.

I ended up talking to the kitchen staff before the show, and they confirmed that, to their knowledge, the bartender is not actually 100% Sicilian. One said, "I think he's half-Italian, half-Boricua" (Puerto Rican). When I asked if they knew why he had tried to convince me of his Sicilian background, he said, "I think he wanted to impress you."

The funny thing is, it wouldn't have mattered if he'd told the truth. I had a massive crush on a Puerto Rican named Pedro once. (Mmmm... Pedro...) I would've been equally excited (impressed?) by that background. Hell, my first kiss was with a Mexican guy. I have a thing for Hispanics. He really gained nothing with that lie (except maybe a harder to follow trail for his baby mama's private investigators).

Remember when I wrote my theory of the fine lines of personality? This guy is TOTALLY the Charming/Con Artist... with a dash of Sexy/Evil.


May you know what you're getting into,

~A~

Hot Stuff

Note: the following post may contain significant spelling and grammatical errors, as I am currently heavily under the intoxication of alcohol while composing it. Then again, it's me... and I'm not the sort of person who would normally allow that sort of thing, so I wouldn't be surprised if, even while intoxicated, the errors aren't numerous. Nonetheless, I felt the need to forewarn you.

Secondary note: Yes, I'm a pretentious b**** when drunk.

Tertiary note: Not always. Just when I'm drunk-blogging, apparently.

Wish me luck!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am drunk.

I just had an extraordinarily hot encounter with a 30-year-old Sicilian bartender.

I have to be at work in less than (fewer than?) 5.5 hours (probably more like 4.5 by the time I finish writing all of this with as few typos as humanly possible).

But despite this (and ignoring the fact that I'm pretty sure I blogged yesterday-ish), I'm going to tell you some strange semblance of the story.

Drunk-blogging, here I come!

His name is Nick. He used to be a bartender for Tony n' Tina's, back when they needed two full-time bartenders (we're talking like 5-6 years ago -- the show is not running out of massive demand at this point, but rather because it's a "family business", from my understanding). Nick also used to be a drummer in the band, back when there was a TnT band (they have since replaced the band with a DJ after realizing how much money it would save them to only pay one person instead of four).

For the record: I have a thing for drummers.

(But honestly, even if he weren't a drummer, I totally would've gone for this guy.)

I first met him several weeks ago when he was filling in for our usual bartender. I saw him a bit more during Frankie Avalon week (when we actually needed two bartenders). And then I saw him tonight, as he filled in for our usual bartender (not sure why, but I don't really care at this point... do you?).

After the show tonight, instead of going out to the bar with the rest of the cast, I made the unusual choice to wait with the costumer as she did some repairs and did a couple loads of laundry. The new costumer, Carol, has only been around for a few weeks, but she and I are becoming fast friends (due in no small part to our mutual affection for Neil Patrick Harris in "Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog"). I decided to keep her company.

When we were finally leaving the theatre, we ran into replacement-bartender-Nick and the kitchen staff (three Hispanic men, who are hilarious and cook darn fine Italian food) at the bar of the reception hall, drinking. Nick invited Costume-Chick Carol and I to stay. We both refused (Costume-Chick Carol had to drive home to Indiana, and I had promised to make an appearance at the bar), but Nick eventually convinced me to stay, and gave me a bottle of water. Then I let him talk me into a cherry coke. And after that, a Corona. I'm not entirely sure how all of that transpired at this point. I do remember joking with the Hispanic men (who all speak Spanish far better than they speak English -- Nick speaks Spanish relatively fluently despite not being Hispanic, which he claims is due to his bar-tending experiences).

I usually get a ride home from TnT person at the bar, so I was planning to head over. Nick said not to worry, and that he would give me a ride home. But somehow we didn't make it to my house. I had already told him that tomorrow (today?) would be my last day of work, and he convinced me to go out to a bar (claiming that if it were my last day of work, no one would care if I showed up hung over). And, as with most intoxicated logic, it made perfect sense at the time.

Nick tends bar at some random place uptown that I'd never heard of before. We ended up there. He bought me a lot of drinks. I danced to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" with one of the regulars... Then he tried to kiss me in the bar. I remember resisting at first and saying, "What are you doing?" Past that, I think I just went with it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I think he may have tried to kiss me before that. I remember at one point him leaning in close to me... I put my ear toward him, but he didn't say anything. And then I said, "what," and he said, "I wasn't trying to say anything," and me saying, "then why did you lean into me," and him saying, "you really don't get it, do you?"

Yes, I really am THAT oblivious when guys are flirting with me.

Not long after that, he kissed me. While sitting at a bar. I don't think anyone has ever done that before. I don't think anyone has ever kissed me while sitting at a bar counter before tonight. I'm also pretty sure that I haven't ever kissed them back while sitting at a bar before tonight. So it's safe to assume that I hadn't ever had a second-base makeout session at a bar before tonight.

Holy cats, it was hot.

And far from the cries of "get a room," it seemed more that we were being applauded. Or, rather, I think he was. Probably at least in part because he usually works at said bar and people knew him. And in part because they thought I was hot.

Not to say that I AM hot. I'm not vain enough to proclaim such a statement self-referentially. I'm just saying it because I heard a drunk regular say it.

Oh, boy. Just saw clock, and it's 3:36am. No matter. I'm going to keep going. Because I've come this far, right?

As soon as he kissed me, I pulled away and said, "What was that for?"

He responded, "It's for me wanting you since I saw you play Hot Cocoa during Frankie Week."

No, I'm not kidding. Those were his exact words. And despite the fact that I played sultry, flirty, horny Farina tonight, for some reason he (and most other males in the cast, inexplicably) is more attracted to Hot Cocoa. Go figure.

Did I mention that he kept buying me drinks? Because he did. Strawberry Stoli mixed with cranberry lemonade. I'd never had it before, but boy, he nailed me. It was the perfect sort of drink for me. Didn't taste like alcohol or oranges, but certainly contained alcohol.

Generally, alcohol does not lower my inhibitions. But I thought, what the heck? He's single, which is more than I can say of most of the men who've hit on me in the last month. He's HOT. He's straight. And he's exactly what I've been looking for...

You know, I've actually never had a random make out session before. I've never kissed a guy that there wasn't a back-story with (if not someone I was dating). This is completely out of character for me. And I sort of loved it.

I won't go into details, but let's just say that being kissed in a bar was not the only first for me tonight. There were a handful of firsts. For example, I've never been fearful of being arrested before. But that definitely happened tonight. To say anything more would be TMI (hey, look at me! Self-censoring while drunk! Impressive, is it not?).

We ended up parked in front of my apartment building for a long period of time. I ended up breaking things off out of necessity (i.e. I really had to pee), and he played the "Goodbye Game" (i.e. doing anything you can think of to make the other person forget that they were about to go) with me for a long, long time. I told him that he was not allowed up to my apartment (for multiple reasons... 1. I have a twin bed. 2. My floor is covered in boxes. 3. I have work at 8:30 today. P.S. Why am I still typing?).

At the end of the night, as he begged me not to leave, we exchanged numbers. I may or may not see him again. He said that next time, he hopes I'll end up over at his place.

By the way, he knows about my sexual history already. Or, rather, my lack thereof.

Right. Probably shouldn't be writing this on the internet (as this is something that I've struggled with not-saying for months), but the hell with it: I have never had sex.

Had you guessed that already? Does it surprise you? Well, in any case, it's the truth. Perhaps I'll elaborate at some point. Perhaps I won't. As you have no doubt noticed, I am a complicated and confusing person even without that aspect of my life dissected, and it is only a minute fragment of the being that I am. So I think it best not to discuss it at length online (for a multitude of reasons, actually).

Anyway.

Have I mentioned that it was hot? Because it was. And I wouldn't mind revisiting that.

I can count the number of people I've kissed on my fingers. And that INCLUDES the people I've kissed on stage. In fact, a few weeks ago I was concerned that the people I've kissed ON stage might overtake the number that I've kissed OFF stage. But lucky, I just threw another mark in the OFF column.

Have I mentioned that he's HOT? Because seriously, he is. I don't think I can name a hotter person that I've ever made out with. Wowza. HOT. Wish I had a picture to include, because all the ladies that read my blog would be hella jealous. Yes, I just used the word "hella", proving how drunk I am (as I normally contend that it is NOT a word).

May you feel sexy out of the blue.

~A~


P.S. I love Donna Summer. Hence the post title. Don't hate.