Hot Stuff

Note: the following post may contain significant spelling and grammatical errors, as I am currently heavily under the intoxication of alcohol while composing it. Then again, it's me... and I'm not the sort of person who would normally allow that sort of thing, so I wouldn't be surprised if, even while intoxicated, the errors aren't numerous. Nonetheless, I felt the need to forewarn you.

Secondary note: Yes, I'm a pretentious b**** when drunk.

Tertiary note: Not always. Just when I'm drunk-blogging, apparently.

Wish me luck!

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I am drunk.

I just had an extraordinarily hot encounter with a 30-year-old Sicilian bartender.

I have to be at work in less than (fewer than?) 5.5 hours (probably more like 4.5 by the time I finish writing all of this with as few typos as humanly possible).

But despite this (and ignoring the fact that I'm pretty sure I blogged yesterday-ish), I'm going to tell you some strange semblance of the story.

Drunk-blogging, here I come!

His name is Nick. He used to be a bartender for Tony n' Tina's, back when they needed two full-time bartenders (we're talking like 5-6 years ago -- the show is not running out of massive demand at this point, but rather because it's a "family business", from my understanding). Nick also used to be a drummer in the band, back when there was a TnT band (they have since replaced the band with a DJ after realizing how much money it would save them to only pay one person instead of four).

For the record: I have a thing for drummers.

(But honestly, even if he weren't a drummer, I totally would've gone for this guy.)

I first met him several weeks ago when he was filling in for our usual bartender. I saw him a bit more during Frankie Avalon week (when we actually needed two bartenders). And then I saw him tonight, as he filled in for our usual bartender (not sure why, but I don't really care at this point... do you?).

After the show tonight, instead of going out to the bar with the rest of the cast, I made the unusual choice to wait with the costumer as she did some repairs and did a couple loads of laundry. The new costumer, Carol, has only been around for a few weeks, but she and I are becoming fast friends (due in no small part to our mutual affection for Neil Patrick Harris in "Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog"). I decided to keep her company.

When we were finally leaving the theatre, we ran into replacement-bartender-Nick and the kitchen staff (three Hispanic men, who are hilarious and cook darn fine Italian food) at the bar of the reception hall, drinking. Nick invited Costume-Chick Carol and I to stay. We both refused (Costume-Chick Carol had to drive home to Indiana, and I had promised to make an appearance at the bar), but Nick eventually convinced me to stay, and gave me a bottle of water. Then I let him talk me into a cherry coke. And after that, a Corona. I'm not entirely sure how all of that transpired at this point. I do remember joking with the Hispanic men (who all speak Spanish far better than they speak English -- Nick speaks Spanish relatively fluently despite not being Hispanic, which he claims is due to his bar-tending experiences).

I usually get a ride home from TnT person at the bar, so I was planning to head over. Nick said not to worry, and that he would give me a ride home. But somehow we didn't make it to my house. I had already told him that tomorrow (today?) would be my last day of work, and he convinced me to go out to a bar (claiming that if it were my last day of work, no one would care if I showed up hung over). And, as with most intoxicated logic, it made perfect sense at the time.

Nick tends bar at some random place uptown that I'd never heard of before. We ended up there. He bought me a lot of drinks. I danced to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" with one of the regulars... Then he tried to kiss me in the bar. I remember resisting at first and saying, "What are you doing?" Past that, I think I just went with it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I think he may have tried to kiss me before that. I remember at one point him leaning in close to me... I put my ear toward him, but he didn't say anything. And then I said, "what," and he said, "I wasn't trying to say anything," and me saying, "then why did you lean into me," and him saying, "you really don't get it, do you?"

Yes, I really am THAT oblivious when guys are flirting with me.

Not long after that, he kissed me. While sitting at a bar. I don't think anyone has ever done that before. I don't think anyone has ever kissed me while sitting at a bar counter before tonight. I'm also pretty sure that I haven't ever kissed them back while sitting at a bar before tonight. So it's safe to assume that I hadn't ever had a second-base makeout session at a bar before tonight.

Holy cats, it was hot.

And far from the cries of "get a room," it seemed more that we were being applauded. Or, rather, I think he was. Probably at least in part because he usually works at said bar and people knew him. And in part because they thought I was hot.

Not to say that I AM hot. I'm not vain enough to proclaim such a statement self-referentially. I'm just saying it because I heard a drunk regular say it.

Oh, boy. Just saw clock, and it's 3:36am. No matter. I'm going to keep going. Because I've come this far, right?

As soon as he kissed me, I pulled away and said, "What was that for?"

He responded, "It's for me wanting you since I saw you play Hot Cocoa during Frankie Week."

No, I'm not kidding. Those were his exact words. And despite the fact that I played sultry, flirty, horny Farina tonight, for some reason he (and most other males in the cast, inexplicably) is more attracted to Hot Cocoa. Go figure.

Did I mention that he kept buying me drinks? Because he did. Strawberry Stoli mixed with cranberry lemonade. I'd never had it before, but boy, he nailed me. It was the perfect sort of drink for me. Didn't taste like alcohol or oranges, but certainly contained alcohol.

Generally, alcohol does not lower my inhibitions. But I thought, what the heck? He's single, which is more than I can say of most of the men who've hit on me in the last month. He's HOT. He's straight. And he's exactly what I've been looking for...

You know, I've actually never had a random make out session before. I've never kissed a guy that there wasn't a back-story with (if not someone I was dating). This is completely out of character for me. And I sort of loved it.

I won't go into details, but let's just say that being kissed in a bar was not the only first for me tonight. There were a handful of firsts. For example, I've never been fearful of being arrested before. But that definitely happened tonight. To say anything more would be TMI (hey, look at me! Self-censoring while drunk! Impressive, is it not?).

We ended up parked in front of my apartment building for a long period of time. I ended up breaking things off out of necessity (i.e. I really had to pee), and he played the "Goodbye Game" (i.e. doing anything you can think of to make the other person forget that they were about to go) with me for a long, long time. I told him that he was not allowed up to my apartment (for multiple reasons... 1. I have a twin bed. 2. My floor is covered in boxes. 3. I have work at 8:30 today. P.S. Why am I still typing?).

At the end of the night, as he begged me not to leave, we exchanged numbers. I may or may not see him again. He said that next time, he hopes I'll end up over at his place.

By the way, he knows about my sexual history already. Or, rather, my lack thereof.

Right. Probably shouldn't be writing this on the internet (as this is something that I've struggled with not-saying for months), but the hell with it: I have never had sex.

Had you guessed that already? Does it surprise you? Well, in any case, it's the truth. Perhaps I'll elaborate at some point. Perhaps I won't. As you have no doubt noticed, I am a complicated and confusing person even without that aspect of my life dissected, and it is only a minute fragment of the being that I am. So I think it best not to discuss it at length online (for a multitude of reasons, actually).

Anyway.

Have I mentioned that it was hot? Because it was. And I wouldn't mind revisiting that.

I can count the number of people I've kissed on my fingers. And that INCLUDES the people I've kissed on stage. In fact, a few weeks ago I was concerned that the people I've kissed ON stage might overtake the number that I've kissed OFF stage. But lucky, I just threw another mark in the OFF column.

Have I mentioned that he's HOT? Because seriously, he is. I don't think I can name a hotter person that I've ever made out with. Wowza. HOT. Wish I had a picture to include, because all the ladies that read my blog would be hella jealous. Yes, I just used the word "hella", proving how drunk I am (as I normally contend that it is NOT a word).

May you feel sexy out of the blue.

~A~


P.S. I love Donna Summer. Hence the post title. Don't hate.