Working It Out

One of my coworkers realized that yesterday would be our last day working together (as I took today off, and she's out Thursday and Friday). When I came back to my desk after a break, there was a bouquet on my chair with a card. In the card, she referred to me as "Sunshine" (my nickname around the office), wished me luck, and told me that she'd miss me. When I went to thank her, she told me not to hug her or she'd cry. I saw the tears in her eyes and I knew she that she meant it.

I've been close with several of my coworkers, but not as much with her. We have a friendly, joking relationship. I've never been around her outside of the workday. I was astonished to learn that the comments I've gotten from her like "I'll miss you", "don't go", and "I'm happy for you" were genuine. They're the same things I've heard from everyone, but they just seemed like the sorts of generic comments that you're expected to throw out when someone's leaving.

She said she knows I'm going to be famous one day (she said she can picture me on Grey's Anatomy), even though she's only seen me act once. She said she would like to be my agent, manager, and publicist. She told me how happy she is for me that I'm getting out of my day job and pursuing my dream. She said she was proud of me, and hopes that I won't forget her when I make it big. She also said that she doesn't think the office will be the same without me there to liven things up.

I got a little teary-eyed along with her.

I also came close to getting emotional when saying goodbye to my favorite cashier on the café floor. She watched me type at lunch during NaNoWriMo, and we often discuss the Oldies songs playing on the speakers. She's one of a handful of people in the world who I have allowed to refer to me as "Ange" (Note: some Angela's spell this "Ang", but then it looks like it rhymes with tang. In reality, it sounds more like the ending of "orange"... but it doesn't actually rhyme, as nothing rhymes with orange). She bought me my lunch as a going-away present and told me how much she's going to miss seeing me. It wasn't much, but it meant a lot to me.

It's incredible to see how much you affect other people's lives without realizing it.

I wasn't upset at missing the party today. It occurred to me that it doesn't matter. I don't need a party. The people who want to wish me well will find their own ways to do it.

I've refrained from discussing my work place on this blog for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is trying to retain my relative anonymity; I don't want my place of work to know I blog, and I don't want blog stalkers to surprise me at work. But I suppose that both are less of a worry now that I only have a couple of days left.

I work in a massive skyscraper that's located in the middle of downtown Chicago (I work about a block away from the famed Magnificent Mile). I'm on the 12th floor, and I have my own window. Observe my view:


When I started my job, I loved it. It's strange to think back to that. Operations within my department have changed a bit since I first started, which has something to do with my disillusionment. But mostly I think the change was in me. It took me some time to understand that I don't want to settle for an office job. I need to work in theatre. When I first got there, I was happy just to have a steady paycheck. I now know that I need more than that. I've taken the corporate road, and I found myself at a dead end. I'm ready to begin the long, lonely hitchhike of the starving artist. It won't be easy, but I think I'll be happier in the long run.

It actually turned out to be a bit of providence that I had taken today off of work, as I woke up completely sick. Yes, I'm sick again, thanks to the worst immune system on the planet (have I mentioned that I've gotten the chicken pox TWICE?). It was a blessing not to have to force myself to go to work. Of course, it meant I was unable to do all the things I'd intended to do today... But I did sort out the health insurance issues I was having with my university. And I did three loads of laundry (although I still have about four left to do... mostly bedding, towels, and winter clothes). So that's something.

Here's hoping that my final days of work go smoothly.


May you know how appreciated you are.

~A~


P.S. Thank you to Rachel, Nico, and Rachel for nominating me for Featured Blogger on 20 Something Bloggers! Today was the first time I've ever been nominated, and I was grinning from ear-to-ear as a result. It seriously is an honor just to be nominated!