High School & Drama

I have so many things that I want to talk about, and it is a completely daunting task. Especially since I only have about 40 minutes to do it.

Last week, I got the chance to hang out with a bajillion people that I went to high school with.

First, my friend Kate was in town, so a bunch of people met up at a bar to see her. Amanda, Sean, Tracy, Sharriese, and I played darts and caught up on each other's gossip (like how Amanda is now in a beach bocce ball league, and how Sean appeared on My Life on the D-List). It was a great time.

Then I went to Michigan for four days. I'm originally from there, but my parents moved to Connecticut, so I rarely visit. I stayed with my friend Ian, and got to see a ton of my friends (for my O-town buddies, it was: Megan, Zel, Erin, Natasha, Taylor, Phil, Ann, Maddie, Nyal, and Mary). For the first time in my life, I actually became intoxicated in Michigan. Megan and I spent a couple of hours in Target, and a couple in Meijer (our traditions). I got to go back to the mall where I used to work (at the Customer Service desk, and also at a long-since-closed boutique run by crazy Asian people -- The Crazians, as I like to call them).

I also got to go see my old house (my parents haven't been able to sell it yet) for the first time in a year. It's mostly empty, and very strange. I feel as if a slice of my past has just died off. I cried when I went into my old bedroom. The design I painted on my wall had been covered by white. My carpet had been changed, to remove the nail-polish spill from when I was six. And it looked just like a room. Any room at all. No one would ever know I'd been there.

I learned something about myself while I was there: sometimes Drunk-Angela HATES other drunk people. Normally, I'm a silly person. I will sing or dance in public without provocation. I slip in and out of accents. I'm a total goofball. But when I drink, I get more serious. And drunk people who are acting in the way I do sober (although they do it in a more outlandish and moronic version)? I become convinced that they're putting on an act. They're "playing" drunk, the way they think they should. They're using the alcohol as an excuse to be jerks (in their case, it was really more jerks than goofballs... erratically spilling coffee on each other, throwing things, attacking the dog). I wanted to punch them all.

Anyway. Aside from that, it was a great trip. I'm glad I got to go home one last time. I know that no matter where else I go in life, that town will always be my real home.

When I got back to Chicago, I found out that I was not playing Sister Terry this weekend, even though I'm fully trained. And I was pretty heartbroken. There's no way I'm going to get to play her now. This coming weekend is Frankie Avalon weekend, which means that everything becomes insane and hectic so that Frankie Avalon can play Tina's godfather (not normally in the script) for a sold-out weekend of shows. They will NOT put me up next week (even if the normal Sister Terry is sick... they'd just call someone who had done it before). And the last day of Frankie week is the day that I have to give my three-week notice. I'm quite sure the director won't put me up once he knows I'm leaving.

It's so sad. And very frustrating.

And the whole show is so stressful right now. Everyone is going completely nuts in preparation for Frankie week. I got yelled at about five times yesterday for things I've never been yelled at for in the past. At one point while scolding me, one person actually took a step back and said, "I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. But I'm stressed, and Black Staff are the easiest people for me to take it out on." The joys of being at the bottom of the totem pole.

They're making us take a "Frankie test" to make sure that we know the man's entire life story before he shows up. They told us we had to get 100%, but that we'd get a few chances to take it. Yesterday night was our first chance. Only 4 people got 100% on their Frankie tests on the first try.

The director (he only shows up on Fridays) started going off on how clearly, we weren't that dedicated to the show, even though some people only missed 1 or 2 questions (although a few others missed more than 20 out of 25... for the record, I missed 6, and I thought that was pretty damn good for someone who hasn't done Frankie week in the past). He read off the whole list of people who failed aloud (even though it had already been read by both Lauren and Matt), and started playing individual guilt trips (especially on the girl who normally plays Tina, even though she only missed 2 questions). He then said that some of the people whose names he had just called were already "on thin ice", and that after Frankie week, he's going to be firing people.

He said that we are ALL replaceable, and that he is more than willing to call old cast members to play all of our roles (including Black Staff). He said that whoever fails the test today will be replaced. He then told the Stage Manager to make a BRAND NEW TEST for today (something that he says he hasn't done in 10 years).

I'm freaking out. My family is coming this week, and if I'm not even on Black Staff, I know they're going to be upset. I'm going to a study group at Starbucks at 4:30 with a bunch of the girls (our test is at 5:30). Hopefully, we'll study the right things. The Stage Manager promised she was going to make it as easy as possible to help us all pass.

My family, by the way, bought their tickets the first week that I was in the show (the first week of May). They didn't do it because it's Frankie week, but because my parents were going to be in town anyway (my dad has a conference here). Originally, I had been told that I'd be a character after about 4 weeks. How many weeks is this now? 10? 11? I lost count. But I'm sure as hell not a character. Anyway. My parents figured it would be the perfect time to get the whole family to come. So some aunts, uncles, a brother, a cousin, and my grandma all got tickets to come as well. Once they found out I wouldn't be a character, a couple of them canceled. And the rest... well, I think they'll be disappointed. Black Staff doesn't get to do nearly as much fun stuff during Frankie week. All eyes have to be on Frankie, so the rest of us don't really matter.

I'm supposed to get my hair dyed one color in a couple of hours. Sister Terry would only have one color of hair, and I currently have two. My black-red-purple has faded into a brown-with-highlights. I actually think it looks pretty sweet, but when they asked me to dye my hair, I made the appointment. I was just excited that I might get a chance. Last night I went out dancing/drinking with a bunch of the girls (someone's birthday is this week), and they were telling me not to do it. I'm debating this act of rebellion.

I just don't want to do anything wrong, you know? Because if I don't go up before I leave, I'm always going to wonder... "Is it because I didn't dye my hair?" "Is it because I missed a question on my second Frankie test?" "Is it because I didn't answer all those questions they gave me?"

Yes, I know that's ridiculous. Yes, I know that if I don't go up, it's going to be because of bad timing and not anything I did wrong. Logically, I know that. But I over-think everything. It's just what I do.

More people have started discussing when they're leaving. At least two other people are giving their notices the same day that I am, and apparently several more are considering it. Which is kind of too bad for me. If they had quit a month ago, I could've been a character by now. But they all wanted to stay long enough to do Frankie week.


May you never suffer from a lack of character.

~A~