10 Years Later

Me as a sophomore in high school. Obviously, I was super popular.

My high school class is filled with ridiculous human beings. Despite the fact that when I was attending we were the #1 ranked public high school in the entire state of Michigan (at least academically; and also, strangely for the orchestra, of which I was a cello-carrying member), the majority of my classmates are not what I would call logical people.


Why am I writing this now? Because it's time for my 10-year reunion.

I think I was even more unnecessarily dramatic in those days than I am now.

Having an upcoming high school reunion is weird, and jarring, and makes me feel old, and like I've done nothing with my life, because I'm 27, underemployed, and live with my parents. In some ways, I was better off at 22, when I had a job, an apartment, and a 401k... but these are things I gave up to go chase my dreams. (Dear God... Why did you make me an artist?)

Me with three of my high school friends. They loved me even before I figured out how to tone down my weirdness. Unfortunately, they haven't RSVPed yes to the reunion. The one on the right doesn't even have Facebook.

It's going to be in a few weeks, in a pub-style bar in Lansing (the closest major town to where I grew up). I'm not thrilled about the whole pub thing because darn it, I want to look FABULOUS. And the kinds of things I've imagined wearing to a high school reunion are a little more "Opening Night" or "Club Night" than "Dollar Beer Night". I keep showing my mom potential dress options online, to which she responds, "For a pub? It might be a little much for a pub." (See pictures below.)

Allen Schwartz Prive (So hot!)

Badgley Mischka (I would have to rent it to be able to afford it.)

Z Spoke by Zac Posen. (Another one I'd have to rent.)

Herve Leger. (Also rentable. Why do I have such expensive taste?)

My high school reunion Facebook page (yes, that's how they're organizing it) is the funniest damn thing I think I've ever seen on the internet. Seriously. And not just because of the strangeness of the fact that talking on Facebook with these people is like a mini-reunion in and of itself.


I made the early suggestion that we stick to our town's tradition and have our event Thanksgiving weekend (I think at least two classes ahead of us have done this; apparently last year's group did a Thanksgiving weekend bar crawl, and invited people from other classes to attend as well).


Thanksgiving weekend was then shot down by someone who said, "I know I am personally having 35+  in for Thanksgiving; let's not mess with the Holidays which are already chaotic enough." (Side note: if you had met this girl, you'd be shocked that she used a semi-colon correctly. So I give her a point for that.) Who has 35+ people for ANY holiday? Also, why should we schedule the reunion in a way that benefits one person, instead of being more convenient for about 300? I should mention, the person who wrote this STILL LIVES IN OUR HOME TOWN (and, not judging as that would be crazy hypocritical, I'm pretty sure she lives with her parents). It would not be difficult for her to leave the mythical 35+ to entertain themselves (or let her parents and sister entertain them) for a couple of hours to stop by our reunion. I'm not saying her argument was invalid; I'm saying that her argument was not strong enough to have made everyone suddenly discount Thanksgiving weekend as an option, which was pretty much the result.


Suddenly, Thanksgiving seemed to be off the table. Even though most people are going to be in town visiting families in Michigan ANYWAY, and will already have the time off from work, and will already have booked travel arrangements so it will save them money... I'm just saying, Thanksgiving was a bright shiny gift of a tradition, and would've helped people out. Look, it wouldn't even help ME out, as my parents live in Connecticut and I thus have not been to Michigan since 2007... But I wasn't trying to make it all about me. I was trying to help my class.


The point is, having it at Thanksgiving is a very logical (and, like I said, traditional) solution. But my bone-headed class just totally ignored that little gem of advice.



Somebody suggested that everyone email her their preferred dates, and she'd make a spreadsheet. But apparently not enough people actually did. And there were a lot of suggestions for various weekends in summer (including later in June, which was when we started discussing it... Did they really think that 355 people would just be able to up and go in a couple of weeks?)


A gal then made a poll in which you could suggest weekends.
- August 11th (12 votes)
- Thanksgiving (4 votes)
- December 31st (4 votes)
- August 18th (4 votes)
- July 7th (3 votes)
- July 21st (3 votes)
- June 30th (2 votes)
- July 14th (2 votes)
- July 28th (2 votes)
- August 4th (2 votes)


Even with a massive lead over the other options, August 11th was not a decisive enough winner.

Some gal made another completely arbitrary poll:
- August 18th (0 votes)
- August 25th (5 votes)
- Either (0 votes)
- Something else entirely (7 votes)

So even though August 11th was the big winner in the last poll (with Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, and August 18th tied for second), the new pollmaker did not see fit to include it in her new poll. Then she ignored two of the three runners-up... And mysteriously put in August 25th, which NO ONE had voted for, but suddenly got 5 votes (which I saw as a vote of "absolutely not August 18th").

Then there was a poll where you could pick what month you thought was most convenient
- July (1 vote)
- August (18 votes)
- September (1 vote)
- October (1 vote)
- November (16 votes)
- December (1 vote)

Looks pretty much like August or November, right? So then the head-chick-in-charge of the reunion (and founder of the glorious Facebook page) made a more OFFICIAL poll. (Except by then, people had already voted four previous ways and probably didn't realize there was more voting to be done...) There were three options (clearly stolen from a previous poll, because there was no other evident reason to have chosen these dates):

1. Saturday, August 18th.
2. Saturday, August 25th.
3. Sometime not in August. (Which I assumed to mean November... Which I assumed to mean Thanksgiving)

The first option (August 18th) got 0 votes. The second option (August 24th) got 6 votes. The third option (NOT IN AUGUST) got 8 votes. So, OBVIOUSLY, the second option won. (?!)

I remind you that I had a graduating class of 355 people. 6 people made a decision for 355, because 341 of them were too lazy to vote, and more specific desires of 6 people beat out the more scattered desires of 8. Fair enough. But stupid, people.

That particular weekend is now not getting much of a response, because it's back-to-school time. Which means teachers, parents of school-aged children, and graduate school students are all unable to go. And that number accounts for a larger portion of my class than I expected. There are about 20 days to go until the reunion, and only 20 people have RSVPed "yes". (Probably because they didn't announce until halfway through July that the reunion would officially be happening in August, and the airfare is UNBELIEVABLY high for that weekend. As in, if I hadn't used frequent flyer miles, I would have had to pay over $600 to get a ticket from New York to Detroit, and then drive the 2.5 hours to Lansing; flying into Lansing directly was even worse, because it's a small enough airport that it could believably be reconstructed using only K'Nex).

There were far more insane things mentioned on the Facebook page, of course, than just this little matter. They have brought me equal amounts of joy and frustration (it's difficult  not to laugh at the stupidity of some; and it's similarly difficult to restrain from punching through my computer into the faces of posters at other times).


Things that have been suggested on the page include:


- reunion in Las Vegas (Originally proposed by a guy who now lives in Los Angeles, this had a SHOCKINGLY large group of supporters. I remind you that I went to high school in Michigan. But people seemed excited about the gambling, and the potential "group rate at one of the strip casinos." Luckily, one of my saner classmates pointed out that due to all the distractions in Vegas, "We might as well all go see a movie together because we won't be doing much reuniting/conversing while doing 'Vegas stuff.'")


- a "summer Sunday boozy brunch", because "I love a sensible mimosa situation..." (Suggested by a gay guy, with a band-wagon full of mommies.) This also led to the advent of the hashtag #givememimosasorgivemedeath (Related note: do people not realize that hashtags are useless on Facebook?)


- reunion at the high school (and then a counter-argument that alcohol is not allowed on school grounds, and thus would render the reunion not worth attending)

- reunion on a river boat (Huh?)

- a suggestion that it be held in a restaurant that went bankrupt while we were still in high school, leading to the response by my dear friend Sharriese: "USA Cafe is closed as hell" (which made me laugh)

- 300-person video chat reunion (I hope that was a tongue-in-cheek suggestion making light of how difficult it is to get everyone in the same place at the same time, but one never knows)

- someone stating that they didn't care about a real reunion, but just wanted to make sure a tournament of 5-on-5 basketball would be set up in the high school parking lot that weekend (as well as some tailgating)

- a pre-reunion reunion at a 5K event that is apparently held annually for one of our classmates who died (which I did not know existed, as I don't live in the town; rest in peace, TJ)

- reunion at a country club

- reunion at a Lansing Lugnuts baseball game

- reunion at a Detroit Tigers baseball game (note: my school was no where near Detroit)

- reunion on a guy's birthday, and a reminder to give him birthday presents

- "I vote August. Hot stankin ass August! Drankin and laughin and carryin on in the hot hot sun reliving the good ol' days, making memories soaked in the smell of regret! Whaddaya say?!" (-- Again, I love my friend Sharriese.)

- "I'm still kind of leaning towards a smaller reunion with the people that are in town. I had no idea so many people stayed around the [...] area!" (Um, really? You'd prefer to skip seeing the interesting people who left town and did neat things with their lives in favor of just seeing people whom you might coincidentally run into at the local Panera? -- I should note, this came from "35+" Thanksgiving girl.)

- "Let's do it on a boat in space in a jungle" -- Some guy I don't remember.

- "maybe we be different and do a 11 year reunion" -- A girl in my high school friend group. (The one sticking out her tongue in the photo where we are wearing weird green facial masks, that I'm like 99% sure she brought to the party.)


And the comments. Oh, the comments.

- a guy in the class ahead of us informing the creators of the group that he had been added by mistake in place of his brother, who was actually in our class. He also then started writing about how his class had a bar crawl on Thanksgiving weekend (on the night of Black Friday), and how our class should really be considering that. (THANK YOU, LEROY!)

- announcements that people can't go because they will be: 7 months pregnant; getting married; serving the military in a foreign country; in jail; overseas; moving to North Carolina; at a Coldplay concert (I love you, Ian, but I didn't picture you as a Coldplay kind of guy).

- the comment "the only weekend I can go is the weekend of August 4" (because clearly, we should try to herd 355 people around your very inflexible schedule)

- someone saying that it can't be August 4th, because he had tickets to Lollapallooza, followed by another classmate suggesting that we have the reunion at Lollapalloza. (Note: Lollapalloza guy did mention that he understood that the reunion would not fall apart just because he couldn't make it. So a point to him for that.)

- a girl saying, "There are so many ppl I would love to see!!! I hope y'all still remember me tho I wasn't there all four years=)" (Spoiler alert: I don't remember her), and then getting into a conversation with a different girl (who apparently remembers her) who ALSO wasn't there all four years. (Neither of them ended up in my graduating class. I don't remember either of them. But apparently, they will both be at the reunion... Great?)

- a girl saying, "I can't wait to show off my new boobs!" (I think she's joking...?)

- another person who moved (I'm pretty sure during freshman year, if not earlier) saying she is "so pumped about this!"

- someone wrote, "i think i might of deleated it. opps."

- someone wrote, "people cant keep putting date they think they can make it that not gonna work, someone pick a day in the summer and get it over with, long as we pray the lord Jesus will bring us all together. so pick a date before i get upset and start sinning."

(Note: The fellow who wrote the last two quotations then friended me on Facebook, went onto my profile picture, and commented, "wow that's all i can say. want to get some dinner together." Was that a question? The answer is no, no, for the love of our lord Jesus, no.)

- the guy who can't spell asking for a sober buddy, because he has given up alcohol (In any other circumstances, I would be that sober buddy. But first of all, it's my high school reunion, so clearly it's the best excuse of my whole decade to get sloppy drunk. Second, I don't actually remember this guy, so I owe him nothing. Third, he awkwardly asked me out on Facebook without taking the 5 seconds to check to see if I were in a relationship -- which I am -- so I can't encourage him in any way.)

- a request from one classmate that another classmate bring his drum set.

- drum set guy requesting that another guy bring his guitar so they can do a "blink 182 acoustic set!!!!"

- another guy requesting to be a part of the "blink 182 acoustic set!!!!"

- a gal asking if she could bring her husband (Of course! Isn't that half the fun of reunions? Finding out how well your classmates did at nabbing hotties?)

- a gal asking if she could bring her kids (We are having it in a bar. So, no. Also, why would you bring your kids to a reunion?)

- someone asking if he could not RSVP, but just decide on the date if he will show up

- someone announcing that, even though she is local, she will not be sending in a deposit, but will just show up on the day of the reunion cash-in-hand (If you guessed that this is "35+ girl" again, congratulations, you've won!)

- people finally realizing that only 300 members of our 355 person class are actually in the Facebook group (and several are, *gasp*, not on Facebook at all! What tragic lives they must lead!), and thus many people have no idea about anything we have discussed.

- a sweet girl asking what everyone will be wearing, and if she should wear a shirt and pants or a dress or a skirt. (I sent her a private message telling her I would be wearing a dress. Because I assumed that everyone knew that high school reunion = fancy/sexy dress, and I thought I'd let her know privately by gently saying, "I saw that it was a cocktail hour, so I thought I'd wear a cocktail dress. What do you think you want to wear?", so as not to embarrass the poor girl. Imagine my surprise when another person ("35+" again, if you can believe it) announced that she would be wearing a "jean skirt and a nice blouse." Did no one else see Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? Does no one else know that you are SUPPOSED to go to your high school reunion looking totally foxy and awesome? DOES NO ONE KNOW? -- But then another girl went on the thread and said (gently, as I did) that she will be wearing a dress, because that is what she "will feel most comfortable in." To which 35+ girl said, "I am most comfortable in a jean skirt and a blouse LOL ; )" Guys, I can't even...



So that's where we are now. My reunion is in three weeks. And I don't have a dress (or should I just give up and buy a "jean skirt"?). And I think only one person that I actually want to see is definitely going (*waves to ex-boyfriend Brian*). And I feel like I've done nothing with my life (which is silly of me, as I got out of the town, got out of the state, and got a Master's Degree).

But you know what? On the Facebook page, despite their foibles, people in my class seem pretty happy in their lives. Maybe this will be good. And inspirational. Maybe I'll see how people can find joy in every direction.

I forgive 35+. And Vegas Guy. And non-drinking-bad-speller. May our next ten years be even better.

Anyone out there been to a high school reunion? I could use any advice you can throw at me, because somehow I think Romy and Michelle may not have given me the whole story.


May you be ready to walk into your past, armed with the bravery of the present.

~A~