Whirled World, Part II: Delphi

My Many Men, and The Persistent Adonis


June 17th was the day I'd been dreading since I got to London. While some of my classmates had anxious countdowns to get back to their loved ones in the States, I was in denial that I'd ever have to leave the UK.

I stayed up until the wee hours, doing the packing that I had put off doing (in favor of spending more time enjoying London... and Phil). As a result, I had about 45 minutes of quasi-sleep before I had to get up and start hurrying about, doing all the last minute "check out of the building" nonsense, and getting my bum (that's what they call them there) on a bus to London Gatwick.

Killer, All-The-Way, Two-Shots-Up, and I caught our EasyJet flight to Athens, and then promptly boarded a bus to Delphi (which was tricky in and of itself, as the buses in Delphi had frivolously gone on strike until 5pm that day. As it turns out, I really don't understand Greek transportation strikes).

On the way to Delphi, I took out my laptop. The night before, I'd downloaded an attachment from an e-mail that Phil had sent me. A script for a sci-fi/action movie he'd written. He had sent it to me with a note that I could read it on a beach and think of him. But I was bored on a bus (and Lady MacBook has been so fussy lately that I wouldn't dare risk bringing her near sand and/or water), so I read it then.

And it was seriously good.

I'm not supposed to say any more than that. But trust me. Good. Phil is very good at what he does. I kept having audible reactions as I read it (gasping, laughing, and the like) that made my traveling buddies look over to me with curiosity.

Look... I am not attracted to Phil because he's a writer. I'm not. I like Phil because he's awesome. But this whole writer thing? Huge bonus.

And as I noticed that, I realized that Phil's not the first writer I've dated... And then I started trying to make mental connections between Boyfriends #1 (Jake), #2 (Michael), #3 (Brian... although technically our agreed terminology was "metaphysically dating", but in retrospect I absolutely classify him as a boyfriend of time gone by), #4 (Daniel, The Filmmaker), and Phil. Here's all I've come up with:

- They are all writers in some capacity (3 of them did screenwriting; 4 have flirted with me in e-mail correspondence at the beginnings of the relationships; all 5 have had some sort of blog at some point while I was dating them)
- They're all 6-foot or taller. (Although really, I think that's just a coincidence. I've certainly been interested in -- and have quasi-dated -- men shorter than that. And I don't think I would have any problem dating someone shorter than I am... I'm 5'6", for the record.)
- They're all Caucasian. (Also probably a coincidence. My first kiss was with a Mexican guy... but then he stopped returning my phone calls and started dating a Mexican chick. They've now been married for 3 years, so I guess I can't really be all that upset.)
- They're all Christian. (Not a coincidence. 2 Catholic, 1 Protestant, 1 Non-Denominational, and 1 that I honestly can't remember right now.)
- They all like Sci-Fi.


Other potential patterns amongst them:
- 2 were in the Air Force
- 4 have brown hair
- 2 professional actors (and 2 others had acted for fun)
- 2 loved Lost (and 2 others enjoyed Lost, fell behind in watching episodes, and swore to me they were going to get caught up again)
- 2 were obsessed with Star Wars
- 2 really loved the Indiana Jones movies
- 2 liked the video game "Portal"
- 2 are only children
- 2 are eldest children
- 3 are Leos (well, 2.5... one was on the Leo/Virgo cusp)
- 2 are on the cusp (Leo/Virgo & Virgo/Libra... For the record, I'm on the Libra/Scorpio cusp. And supposedly people on the cusp are drawn to other people on the cusp. If you're curious, the 5th guy was a Cancer... and he's the one who's often the answer to "one of these things is not like the others" puzzle of this list)


And then I remembered something else... Music. They had all, in one form or another, given me music.

(Honestly, this is not an important part of the story, but I think it's amusing, so I'm going to elaborate.)

Boyfriend #1: About 2 months into dating him, he made me a mix CD. It reminded me a great deal of the song "Mix Tape" from Avenue Q in that I had no idea what he was trying to say with it. Some of the songs were clearly chosen because he thought that they lyrically applied to our relationship ("I Think We're Alone Now", "I've Got My Mind Set on You", "The Longest Time"). But some were about CHEATING... ("Tempted", "Roll to Me", "Runaround Sue",... I assume he chose the first two for their titles as opposed to by their actual lyrics). And some were just a big ball of mystery ("I, Don Quixote"... WTF?).

Boyfriend #2: He didn't make me a CD. No. Instead, he sent me lists of songs that I should download, or when he was on my computer he downloaded them for me. He once even acknowledged that he was just trying to submit me to his tastes, hoping they would rub off on me. He used a different verb, though, although I can't for the life of me remember what it was. I think it sounded like "submerge", but meant something more like "brainwash" or "indoctrinate". (Actually, this story is pretty telling of our entire relationship... Him trying to get me to convert to his way of life, and me letting him try while knowing deep down that it wasn't going to work.) His music included a lot of Wilco, The Decemberists, Elvis Costello, and Harry Nilsson. And then he told me how much he hated some of the music I liked at the time, such as a Basement Jaxx song I was obsessed with, the Butterfly Boucher jam that I was calling "my favorite song", and all of my Motion City Soundtrack.

(Side note: Boyfriend #2 also once refused to dance with me or kiss me while the song "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional was playing in the background, as he said it made him feel like he was on an episode of One Tree Hill. In contrast, I sent Phil that song and he freaking LOVES it. It's probably his favorite of all the songs I've sent him.)

Boyfriend #3: He made me CDs of songs that he thought I'd actually like. (Novel concept!) And he's the closest I think I've ever come to finding someone who had the same musical tastes as me. He introduced me to Kara DioGuardi and Platinum Weird (totally great). Strangely, he also had a thing for Disney stars. He sent me songs from the solo albums of Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale. Yes, songs. As in plural. (*NOTE: I heart you, Brian. And the fact that you like that music? Totally endearing. Don't ever change.*)

Boyfriend #4: Before I took a 5.5 hour road-trip to see him, he mailed me a package containing 4 mixed CDs of music that he wanted to introduce me to. CD 1: Rock Opera. CD 2: Christian Rock. CD 3: Instrumental music from the soundtracks of movies and video games. CD 4: Electronica/Techno and a couple of random Rock songs. (Okay, go look at whatever random playlist is currently on top of this blog. Because I'm like 99% sure that no matter what playlist I've set it on now or in the future, you will look at it and wonder how he and I dated as long as we did. Seriously? Themes from Halo? Three songs by Naio Ssaion? I'm pretty musically eclectic, but I just couldn't listen to some of that.)

Phil: A week into knowing him, he made me a mix CD. He chose the songs lyrically, much in the way that Boyfriend #1 had attempted, but more successfully. Only 11 songs. Definitely NOT chosen for their titles ("Letters to God, pt. II", "Daniel", and "Death" are amongst them), but actually for what the lyrics mid-song are. And one ("Last Train Home") he explained is on the CD because he bought it earlier in the day on the day we met, so in his head it's forever linked to me. Some of them I love ("Enchanted", "Death", "Saturday Night", "Be Sensible"). I don't hate any of them, which I'm glad about (because seriously, I can't stand Elvis Costello, and I just can't go through that again).

(NOTE: If you are reading this post around the time I've written it, then some of the songs he sent me are on the playlist on the top of this page. "Daniel", "Last Train Home", "Apartment Story", "Enchanted", "Sweet Disposition", "Saturday Night" -- although a different version, "Death", "VCR", and "Hysteric".)

Yes. All this stuff was going through my head on the bus to Delphi. It was a long bus ride, and I'm a fast reader (and I'm generally a pretty quick thinker as well... it matches my fast-paced and erratic psycho-physical rhythm). Eventually I stopped thinking about my past relationships and started taking pictures out the window of the bus.

I didn't get a text from Phil all day, which was unusual to the point of being worrisome. But when I checked my e-mail he explained that he gets charged an extortionate amount to text abroad. Among other things, he wrote:

My life has an Angela-shaped hole in it right now. The last two nights have been so boring!

(My heart did a selfish little dance at that.)

Delphi was idyllic. Gorgeous. Like a little slice of heaven. The view of the mountains from the balcony of my 17-euro-per-person hotel room was unbelievable... and I don't even really LIKE mountains. I found a little piece of myself in Delphi that I didn't know was missing. We only spent a couple of days there, and it was hard to leave for Athens. I think we all knew that Athens wouldn't be as lovely as Delphi was.

I had the best tzaziki of my life there. I even got bold and ventured into the unfamiliar territory of lamb. I walked to where Apollo's oracle sat, and marveled at how far people traveled through the mountains to get to that spot. I bought super cool handmade ring made of sterling silver and rock crystal.

And I talked about Phil everywhere I went.

No seriously, everywhere. As in, my travel buddies apparently started having conversations behind my back about whether to try to get me to stop talking about Phil, and if so, how to do it most tactfully. (Two-Shots-Up mentioned on our last night in Delphi that I'd been talking about him a lot, so I made the conscious decision to stop talking about him altogether for a while. It was actually quite challenging, as he had become my favorite subject.)

One of my conversations about Phil was with an American woman named Sharaine who worked in a jewelry store (and who sold me an amethyst ring for a much better price than she should have). She told me the story of how she met a man when she was on a trip to Greece, how he pursued her, how she came to visit him... and how they've now been married for 8 years. She told me not to lose my head over this guy. But she also told me not to rule him out.

Later that night, I found myself club-hopping with Two-Shots-Up. And by "club-hopping", I mean, "We went to both clubs in Delphi." The entire town has two streets. The two clubs are on the same street, about a 2 minute walk apart.

As soon as we walked into a club, a man handed me a tequila shot. People (well, men) were buying us drinks left and right. The bartender kept giving us free shots that he called "Sex on the Beach", but which we don't think actually were. The first 4 tasted like straight grapefruit juice; if there was any alcohol in them, we could neither taste it nor feel it. His recipe changed around shot 5, and then it tasted like grapefruit juice mixed with black licorice (which I can only assume was ouzo). Weakest drinks I've ever had (and I'm the kind of person who can taste the alcohol in EVERYTHING).

The bartenders loved us. And one of the DJs actually cleared a space on his DJ station because he wanted me to dance on it. So, of course, I did. Also danced on a bar. (Which I used to do semi-professionally in Chicago as part of Tony n Tina's Wedding, so I'm quite good at dancing on counters of various widths.) It was quite fun. Most of the people in the bar were teenagers from Spain, so that was a little weird, but still entertaining.

We had so much mojo flowing between the two of us that boys were appearing out of the air. I had to fight men off with a (metaphorical) stick. And by metaphorical stick, I mean I used variations on the statement, "I have a boy back in England."

One of the (many) men to hit on me was in a black undershirt and looked like he'd oiled his muscles that day. He wanted me to dance on a chair for him. I did nothing to encourage him. I even escaped to the bathroom at one point. But nonetheless, he asked why I wouldn't kiss him. So I exaggerated a little on my "boy back in England" line, and instead gave him a standard answer that I'd use in the USA: "I have a boyfriend." That made him leave me alone, but it left me feeling uncomfortable. It's easier to use that line when I'm single and it's a complete lie. It's weird to use it when I'm in a weird label-less, commitment-less, relationship limbo.

At the second club, the (hot!) bartender gave me flirty winks between free drinks. He backed off when he saw his friend Sakis trying to hit on me. He looked like he'd walked out of a time-machine from the 1980s. I explained to Sakis that I had a boy back in Britain. He kept insisting (in mediocre English) that he just wanted someone to talk to. But not long after that he started mentioning how we looked like a good couple in the mirror, complimenting my lips, and asking why I wouldn't kiss him. He gave me his phone number before I left the bar, and told me to give me a call if I needed anything in Athens.

Around that time, I tried to get Two-Shots-Up to leave the bar so that I could attempt to Skype with Phil before he went to sleep. It took awhile to pull her away from the masses of men hitting on her. (Have I mentioned that she's super-hot, really friendly, wears sexy clothes, and is a wicked dancer? Total heart-breaker, that one). But when we left the bar, she wanted to hunt down some food.

We ended up at the local gyro joint. They'd shut down the gyro machine, but some guys were sitting inside the restaurant and beckoned us in. They had some pizza for themselves and offered us some. One of them was a young hot guy (and had apparently been dancing with us at one of the clubs... although I didn't remember him from that). The other was funny and seemed nice. They had the idea that we should go get ice cream and keep talking. On the way, Two-Shots-Up noticed how built Young&Hot was, and he encouraged us to touch his muscles. And then I tried not to drool.

After we got the ice cream (the guys paid), it became apparent pretty quickly that they were trying to divide and conquer... The hot guy wanted me, and the other guy wanted Two-Shots-Up. The guy was nice enough, and we started having a conversation... but then he tried to kiss me (out of nowhere), and I pulled away. Like all the others before him, we had the exchange of, "Why won't you kiss me?" and "Because I have a boyfriend." But Hottie's response was (AND I QUOTE), "That's okay. I have a girlfriend. Doesn't bother me." And then he tried to kiss me again.

Greek men are persistent.

Yes, he was charming. Yes, he was cute. Yes, he had a really good body (OMG! SO GOOD!). And yes, technically, the boyfriend thing was a lie and I had no strings attached to me. But I was NOT going to make out with someone else's boyfriend. Cheating is dumb. I'm whole-heartedly against it, and I will not play a role in it.

And you probably know my next thought without me having to type it...

Even if the Greek guy were single, I wouldn't have made out with him. Not just because random make outs aren't really my thing (because they're not), but because it didn't matter how hot he was; I didn't want him.

All I could think about was Phil.

I was actually sad to be eating ice cream under the stars by beautiful Grecian mountains with my own personal authentic Greek Adonis who thought I was sexy and wanted desperately to make out with me. Yes, sad. In that moment, I would've traded it to be in a hotel room, laying on an uncomfortable bed, whispering on Skype (because of paper-thin walls) with an over-worked, sleep-deprived Brit.

The Greek guy tried to flirt, bargain, and plead with me to make out with him, but I refused. He even tried to sneak-attack kiss me (which, by the way, is so not cool. Why do guys think that's going to get a positive response out of me?) and I literally put my hand over my mouth to block him. The more he tried, the less attractive he appeared to me. I got to our room, checked Skype for Phil (who wasn't on), and went to bed.

When I woke up, I had an email from Phil apologizing that he fell asleep before being able to Skype with me. And also saying that, at my recommendation, he had rented the first season of Battlestar Galactica and had begun watching it. (For the record, Boyfriend #3 introduced me to it, and Boyfriend #4 became interested in me after hearing I liked it. See? I told you. All my men like sci-fi.)

I wrote Phil about my adventure, and about fending off the unwanted advances of countless Greek men. I wrote that all I could think about was him. He seemed grateful at that. And he wrote, "Yep, you're much better off with a pale-skinned, bumbling, neurotic Brit. ;)"

And I knew he was right.

Besides, that Greek guy probably didn't even like Sci-Fi.



To be continued...



May you figure out your patterns, both good and bad.

And may you have such great options in your life that temptation becomes easy to walk away from.

~A~