Cuddle Bunny

(Picture taken 02/29/08, in the city where I'll be attending graduate school. You should be very jealous right about now.)

The last week has been marked by the following events.

- I saw 5 plays in 7 days. And, shockingly against the odds, none of them was bad.
- I guest-blogged for two people (hence my missing post this week... I figured I'd covered it. And I think both of my guest posts are pretty great, so please go read them if you haven't done so yet).
- I became completely and totally obsessed with Lost, finishing seasons 2 & 3 in a week (well, technically I'll be done with season 3 on Monday night -- I saved one episode for myself in an effort to stretch it out a bit longer).
- I changed my relationship status on Facebook to "It's Complicated" (because, let's face it, it is).
- I have put off figuring out how to do my taxes for another week (but I did pick up the necessary forms from my old temp agency so that I can properly do them).
- I got my application and acceptance letter from grad school (I have already been made an offer, but I have to apply to the school as a formality).
- I had a really great cuddling session with a platonic friend.

And now I'll just expound upon that last point (because if I explored all of them, you'd be reading for the next several hours, and I wish to spare you that grief).

On Saturday night, my friend Mike's band was playing in a Battle of the Bands (I have previously mentioned Mike in my post So Close). And his band effing rocks. They won their night in the first round. Last night was the second round (in which the competition was exponentially more talented), and they came in second in the night. This means that they are officially qualified for classy elite third round. I'm so proud of him!

(NOTE: For the handful of you reading my novel-in-progress blog, I have to mention that the character of Sam is NOT based on Mike. I've never even mentally cast him in the role. But yes, upon editing it I've recognized a couple of similarities -- namely that he's in a band and I think of him as a brother)

(NOTE: If you are not reading my novel-in-progress blog and you would like to, leave your email address in the comments section. It's an invite-only soiree. Very exclusive.)

At the end of the night, Mike made a comment that we hadn't had a good cuddle session in awhile (I think the last one was in July. He was drunk. We were lying down on a narrow couch in a room full of people. And we were watching Shaun of the Dead at the time). I think he craved that physical closeness as much as I did. And so he and I headed to an apartment that some of his friends live in, and we crashed on a giant, sinfully comfortable air mattress. And it was glorious.

I love cuddling more than I can possibly say. And I'm a completely indiscriminate cuddler. I'll cuddle with men, women, gays, straights, I don't care. Most nights, I cuddle with a pillow or two, pretending that there is a human sleeping next to me.

Cuddling is particularly enjoyable when it's with someone who fits you. I don't mean personality-wise; I mean it in a completely physical sense. Some people's bodies just fit together well. Like legos. Or puzzle pieces. And other people... well, it's like trying to put two Slinkies together; you end up with a big tangled mess. Or sometimes, it's like a Slinky and a Rubik's Cube; two things that have no business being near each other in the first place and are better off alone.

But my As-Good-As-Gay friend Mike happens to be a very good cuddle match for me. Supreme. He's definitely in the top three best cuddle-partners of my life. In fact, he might win the title. He's that good.

He and I are mysteriously able to avoid all of the "awkward arm placement" scenarios that arise when I cuddle with other people. I'm not entirely sure how it works... I find it's best not to over-analyze these things. Besides, if I thought too hard about it, I'd be trying to recreate the experience with every other cuddle-buddy I ever tried out, and that would ruin half the fun. (Besides, if extraordinary cuddling is to be had, I think it's something that has to arise spontaneously.)

And perhaps the best part about cuddling with Mike is that, because we don't get into awkward positions, there's never a time when either of us pulls away. I have a tendency to wake up a lot in the middle of the night (curséd insomnia). I wake up less than normal if there's good cuddling taking place. And with Mike, whenever I do wake up, he's holding me. That's a beautiful thing.

Now, I'm not saying that this is always for the best. I understand a "squeeze-roll-and-release" move if you're having trouble sleeping. That's cool. Do what you have to do. I understand. I'm just saying it's nice when you find someone you don't have to do that with.

Ex #2 was a self-proclaimed "sensational cuddler" (I thought that was a notable adjective, so I remembered it). But then when I cuddled with him? No. Not sensational. Not remarkable in any way. Actually pretty terrible. The body match was mediocre at best. He wasn't attentive at all. And he always ended up on the other side of the bed (which, in a twin bed, is a bad sign). And then he accused me of being a terrible cover-hog (which I am) and singing in my sleep (which I still don't believe that I actually do).

For the record, Mike has never accused me of being a cover-hog. Probably because I'm not tossing and turning all night when I'm wearing another person like a blanket. I wrapped myself up in Mike, so I didn't need to grab the sheets.

Ex #1 was a good cuddler, save for one thing: he always wanted to be the little spoon. Not good. I'm 5'6". He's 6'2". He was a bigger sort of guy, and I was a tiny sort of girl (at the time... that was before I packed on my hibernation weight). The spoon position is really only going to work well in one configuration. And him being the little spoon? That wasn't it.

It's also not good when people think that spooning is the only way to cuddle. I prefer to mix it up a bit. I have about 3 preferred cuddling positions, but to try to explain them in typed form would only prove inaccurate... They're really so much better when demonstrated. And since I can't do that here... I guess you'll just have to imagine.

I wonder if there's some sort of reference book for good cuddling. A "Cuddle Sutra", if you will. Maybe I should write one...

I hope I'm a good cuddler. I've never really questioned it. I mean, I love cuddling. And I'm sort of a connoisseur of cuddlers... But how can I possibly gauge my own abilities? I suppose it's impossible. Particularly since I have no idea what other people look for in their cuddle-buddies. I only know what I myself look for...

So, in case you missed the memo, here are Angela's rules to cuddling:
- Do cuddle with people that you have completely platonic relationships with, provided you're clear about intentions beforehand
- Don't try to cuddle with people who don't want to be cuddled with
- Do tell someone if you get into one of those "awkward arm" scenarios and your circulation is being cut off
- Don't attempt to be the little spoon if you're clearly the bigger person
- Do consider holding on instead of rolling over
- Don't feel like you have to stay in the same position all night long (it's okay to reposition... or to separate yourself if you're having trouble getting comfortable)


May you find someone who fits you.

~A~