I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

(My roommates and me)

I just finished my 6th week of classes, which I can't believe. The semester is only 15 weeks long. It's insane that we've already gotten this far.

I was officially taken off vocal rest on Wednesday, and I'm thrilled. It's good to be back.

I feel a little less friendless than I did before. I don't feel alienated. I don't feel alone. I feel like things are beginning to fall into place.

I have wonderful roommates. Over the years, I've lived with 10 different people, and I think this is the best roommate situation I've ever had. They're lovely people who take an interest in what I'm doing, but have their own lives. They've been supportive listeners, and great advisers. I'm glad to have them around.

My class started to feel like an ensemble this week. Our Movement professor didn't show up for class one day (it turned out to be the result of a minor accident... she was fine, but shaken up. She didn't arrive until 80 minutes into an 85 minute class). We adjusted by leading class on our own as a collective. We did everything we've been working on, and were able to agree on things as a group. It finally felt like everyone was working towards a common goal. When we were in the middle of a flocking exercise (which involves the group moving as one, with leadership evolving as it goes), I felt an incredible sense of synergy. I have nothing that I can compare it to, as I'm not sure I've ever gotten to this point with a group of people before. It was awe-inspiring.

I had a few hours of great bonding time with D-Train last week. We started at a library, moved on to a grocery store, and ended up hanging out at his place. I found out that he's as big of a Shakespeare geek as I am (he created his own cut of Hamlet for fun). I came home and felt like I finally had a real friend.

D-Train and I are comfortable enough with each other now that we were *ALMOST* the people who broke "the make-out taboo" in class yesterday (it apparently always takes a while for the first kiss to occur in scene-work, but once it happens, then it's no longer weird for anyone). After the scene had been over for a good 10 minutes, he leaned over to me and said, "I'm still a little in love with you right now. I think the scene worked." It was great that we were able to bring the connection that we have in real life into our acting. I can't wait to get to that comfort-level with everyone in my class. Our ensemble work will improve exponentially once we achieve that, I think.

The classmate who doesn't like my hugs and I are now on better ground. He's hugged me at least three times in the last week. And he gave me his extra yoga mat so that I can have one at home and one at school (it's hard for me to remember to cart mine -- which Renee gave me -- back and forth, and we're supposed to be doing work with it every night).

The awkward period is over after the "how do you think I feel about you" exercise I had with Killer. He and I stayed after class yesterday and had a really great conversation. He played me the song that he's going to sing for our musical theatre workshop, and it's the PERFECT choice for what we're doing. If I were a guy, I might've chosen the same one. He reads my grad school blog (now with a shiny new dot-com!), so he knew the songs I was considering and gave me some great insight.

I'm so glad that he's around. You have no idea how great it is to have someone in class who laughs when I say the word "frak", understands my love of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, can discuss Pushing Daisies, AND has some of the same speech idiosyncrasies that I have. I'm starting to wonder if he's the male version of me.

Two-Shots-Up, D-Train, and I all really dig the song "American Boy" by Estelle ft. Kanye West, and we sing it before Acting class several times a week. Two-Shots-Up likes doing the verses, I like the chorus, and D-Train likes the rap parts. It's like Jack Sprat and his two wives.

Now, all that said, my socialization still isn't what I'd like it to be. I'm not the person that people think to call when things are going on. I find out about most gatherings after the fact. I actually not-so-subtly tried to get people to invite me along to something last night, and was ignored. I see pictures on facebook of people getting together without me. Three of my classmates when to Disney World together last weekend.

I just... I wish I knew how to be the girl that you didn't want to do things without. I want to be the sort of person that makes everything more fun. I want to be included. And I don't want to sit in front of a computer wondering what fun things everyone else is doing.

I decided if that a good way to be included was to start doing some of the planning myself. So today, I invited all my classmates to come over to my place tomorrow to read a play together for class. The way I see it, plays are meant to be heard, not read. And since we have a big group of actors, we should take advantage of that. So far, only one has responded, but I'm hoping to get few people together so that their will be less doubling of roles.

I think it's all going to work out.


May you find common ground with those around you,

~A~


P.S. Yes, the title is a reference to the musical Annie. What can I say, I'm a musical theatre geek at heart.