My First Wedding

I was a few minutes late leaving my apartment, so I hailed a cab to get to the theatre. Didn't want to risk the bus dropping me off after call. Didn't want to make a bad impression. It was, after all, my first day on the job.

I got to Tony n' Tina's with plenty of time to spare. I sat down with the ASM (assistant stage manager) Matt (he's in the play as well as ASM-ing it... because you can do that sort of thing with this show). He had me fill out all the paperwork. He read me the list of rules. Things like:

- No swearing during "Cha" (that what they call the pre-show, but no one seems to know why) or the wedding ceremony whatsoever. Try to avoid swearing during the reception (except Tony... he gets a pass on that). No F-word at any time.
- No insulting audience members. (Clearly, this is not Ed Debevic's.)
- No breaking character unless you think someone is in physical danger, and even then you can only break to the stage manager.
- (this one is verbatim, including capitalization) "NO ONE IS TO TRY TO ARRANGE A DATE WITH A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE DURING THE SHOW. This cannot be excused as a "Character choice" and may not happen."

The SM (stage manager) Lauren (who also helps tend bar... because you can do that sort of thing with this show) went over some more contract points.

They gave me a red folder which they referred to as a "book". Matt said, "This will be like your Bible. Except you'll actually have to read this."

- 12 (twelve!!!) pages are lists of rules.
- 9 (nine!!!) pages outline what happens during the course of the show
- 84 (EIGHTY-FREAKING-FOUR!!!) pages are back-stories about the characters and their relationships.

Why so many pages of back-stories? Because if you're going to be doing improv in these characters, you've got to know them inside and out. And you have to know everyone else's information so that you don't contradict anything. And these things are DETAILED! The book lists every character's relationship with every other character from both perspectives. It tells you what every character's birthday is, what schools they attended, what hospital they were born in... It's incredible.

And here's the wackiest part: I haven't even gotten a script yet! You get the pages of the script that your character is on (reminds me of Shakespearean actors just having their own cues and lines) once you get assigned a character. And you get a whole other folder with that character's blocking and even more information about their back-story and relationships. Almost everyone in the cast plays more than one role, depending on the night.

But before I even get a role, I am going to be tested. Literally. There are 6 tests on this material to make sure you know the show. My first test is on the order of events that happen during the production. I think I take that one next weekend. I'm thinking of making flashcards or something...

Directly after the paperwork, they gave me my costume and a name tag that said "Carmella", and then said, "We're just going to throw you into it. You'll be fine." Trial by fire. *sigh*

For the first 3-5 weeks, I'll be on the "Black Staff". It's like being a waiter, but more fun. During this period of time, I will absorb the show. I will learn by watching. And I will be doing all the things Black Staff does.

What do we do?
- We socialize with the audience (in character) during Cha (yes, we all have characters!)
- We preset the reception during the wedding ceremony
- We pour small amounts of champagne into minute plastic glasses
- We laugh at the corny jokes that the "reception hall owner" makes
- We do a ridiculous 30 seconds of choreography called "The Champagne March"
- We serve food from the buffet
- We clear plates (I'd say this is about 60% of the job)
- We encourage the audience members to get up and participate in things (mostly dances)
- We keep an eye out to make sure that audience members, chairs, and spilled liquids aren't in the way of any chases or fights
- We make sure that audience members don't go exploring areas of the set that they're not supposed to
- We participate in some of the dances (I just read in my handbook that the Black Staff girls get to dance on the bar at one point! WOO-HOO!!!)
- We distribute the wedding cake
- We put on hats and glasses and dance however we like to "Sweet Home Chicago"
- We usher the audience members out and on their merry ways

The job is part waiter, part actor, part chaperone, and part janitor... and maybe part Richard Simmons.

Now, there are Black Staff characters in the red folder, but Carmella is one of a select few that isn't in there. If you're Carmella, then you get to do whatever the heck you want. You get to create a brand new character (and then you have to write your own bio... which I think is due next week. Who knew there would be so many homework assignments?).

I think that you might know me well enough by now that you could guess my reaction to, "make up a new character right now that you have to stick to all night... and GO!"

Clearly, there was only one option for me.

Last night, Carmella was obsessed with dancing.

Predictable for me, I know. But they don't know me yet. And I knew I could make her funny and entertain people during Cha with it. Carmella was really into disco. And she wasn't a particularly good dancer. I made her pretty awkward and ridiculous, but shameless. It was a blast.

There were two guys on Black Staff with me last night, both of whom have been in the show for a long time (every once in awhile, you have to go back on Black Staff... either to fill gaps in the line-up or to help train newbies). They would tell me what to do about 5 minutes before we did it. And aside from one small bit of me looking like an idiot (I couldn't find my tray of cake slices in the extremely small kitchen), it actually worked fine. I didn't die. Thank goodness I'm a fast learner.

The first time I walked into the kitchen, the three chefs started talking at me in Spanish. When I looked confused they said, "What, you don't understand Spanish?" When I said I didn't, they took to just whistling at me every time I entered the kitchen (which you would know was their way of joking with me if you saw how uniformly dumpy everyone looks in Black Staff apparel).

At the end of the show, an older gentlemen whom I had chatted up in Cha and danced right in front of in "Sweet Home Chicago" walked up to me and said, "You were the best." I made up something about how working for Mr. Black is a fun job. And I smiled on the inside. I felt as though I really could do this job. :)

It was the last performance of the girl who played Tina yesterday (she's worked there for a total of 4 years), so everyone went out to the bar after, and I was invited.

One by one, the actors came up and introduced themselves as people (as opposed to characters). And, without fail, every one of them asked me, "Do you know what character they're considering you for?" I have no clue (the SM told me I'm not supposed to know yet, and would find out AT THE EARLIEST in a week). Then they'd ask what Black Staff character I had tonight, as some of them are sort of like junior versions of the larger roles. But since I was bio-less Carmella, that didn't provide them with any hints.

So they guessed based on look. About 4 or 5 of them told me they picked me out as a Tina right away. But no one goes straight to Tina. You play another role first and work your way up to Tina (and who knows if I'm going to be around long enough for that...). The general consensus was that I'm too skinny to play the slutty bridesmaid, and I'm too tall to play the pregnant bridesmaid (the last two people who played her with regularity were 4'11"... it definitely adds to the comedy). Several people guessed that I'd be the awkward/geeky bridesmaid. A few guessed that I might be Tony's father's girlfriend, the stripper. And one guessed that I might be Tina's cousin, the singing nun. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

There are two other interesting pieces of information that I received...

1. In July, there is a week in which Frankie Avalon joins the show. Apparently he knows the producers and does it as a favor to them. He plays the character of "Tina's Godfather" (who normally doesn't exist). The entire reception is retooled around his presence. He sings "Venus" and "Beauty School Dropout". The cast barely interacts with him outside of the performances. And the cast is not allowed to touch him.

But still... Dude! I'm going to be in a show with Frankie-freaking-Avalon! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!


2. I'm sure most of you remember the story about my callback for this show (it was, after all, pretty memorable). Imagine my surprise when the stage manager informed me that Chuck starts Wednesday.

Yes, you read that right. They're hiring Chuck. I asked the SM about it (if you remember, I ran into her and discussed my frustrating callback already). She shrugged and said that the director sees him as fitting one of the roles. Which, beyond being completely flabbergasting, causes me a few problems:

A. I'll probably have to improv more with him.

B. I have now bad-mouthed this guy and his callback to the SM as well as all the people I attended the show with (two of whom, Dan and Mel, are also starting within the next week). EEK! Not smooth on my part. Because he didn't attend the show with the others of us, I figured that he hadn't been asked back. And I was unfortunately mistaken. And acted extremely unprofessionally. STUPID, STUPID ANGELA!!! GAH!

C. I now cannot mention in front of anyone in the cast that I have a blog. Because if any of them finds it and reads the post about Chuck (even though I changed his name), it'll cause problems. I don't want to step on any toes. Especially because there's a pretty good chance that Chuck will end up being in the show longer than I am (there are so many more male characters than female ones... a guy could rotate through the roles in that cast forever... plus, I already know when I'm leaving).

Yikes. But I'll deal with all of that as it happens. If I learned anything yesterday, it's that I'm capable of rolling with the punches.

All in all, it was a pretty good first day. And now I get to go to weddings 5-6 times a week. Wish me luck.


May you be able to think on your feet.

~A~
(aka Carmella... at least until further notice)


P.S. As my readers Heidi, Amy, Kate, Jes, and Sarah might remember, I once played a character by the name of Carmel. And I really loved that role. It was the first time that I had a real character instead of being in the chorus or being a dancer. I wonder if playing "Carmella" is some sort of sign...?