Charming Insanity, Bad Wrists, & Dream Splits

25. I sat next to an insane guy on the L today who was sort of adorable. He looked to be in his early thirties, and was dressed nicely. If he hadn’t opened his mouth, I never would have looked at him twice. He leaned over and asked (at an inappropriately loud volume), “Do you have to time young lady? Or middle age lady? Old lady? What kind of lady should I call you, I don’t know…” After I told him it was five, he started asking other people on the train different questions. He asked a man how to tie his necktie into a Windsor knot. He asked a woman who was wearing a horrible red fur thing around her neck on if it was made of “rabbit foots” (it did look like that, actually). And then he started asking if we agreed with his psychiatrist that he shouldn’t be allowed out of the hospital because he was “too friendly”. And then he said he couldn’t remember why he’d gotten on the train and that he’d really like to go “back home to the loony bin.” And then he whipped out his harmonica and started playing for us. I think some of the people on the train weird annoyed, but I found him to be oddly charming. I think the ladies sitting behind him found his antics endearing as well. I hope he gets back to the hospital safely.

26. Everybody has a body part that they dislike more than anything else. I think for a lot of people it’s their noses (I have no problem with mine). I hate my wrists. They’re boney, they’re weak, and they make me feel awkward and vulnerable. I try to avoid wearing bracelets and watches, as that would draw attention to them.

27. For several years now, I have had a recurring dream of being able to do the splits. I get it every couple of months. In the dream, I always think, “Wow! I really can do the splits! Just like in that dream I always have… I guess my dreams are prophetic.” But then I wake up, and I’m disappointed. I wonder what a psychologist would say these dreams represent. I could do the splits when I was a kid. I don’t know why I can’t any more, but when my legs divide any further than a 90-degree angle, I’m in pain. I honestly believe that one day I’ll wake up after having had this dream, and I will magically be able to do the splits. It will happen.